Where the Outrageous Things Are
by Mr History 94
Summary: Welcome to my attempt at making Robot Chicken sketches. This series is quite hilarious with their parodies and stuff. I will try to go to where Seth and his team haven't. Takes on franchises like Naruto, Sly Cooper, Disney, How to Train Your Dragon, One Piece, Ed Edd n Eddy and TMNT.
1. Chapter 1

**Author's note: This is how I would've wanted a Robot Chicken sketch to be. It's just for fun! The series were created by Seth Green**

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**Chapter 1: The Gay Pride of the Leaf **

In the Village Hidden in the Leaves, everything is normal….well until we hear Naruto shouting out loud as usual. He and all of his friends are going on a mission.

Naruto: Alright! We're all gonna find Sasuke and convince him to stop his mad bid for power! Isn't that great, guys?

Kiba: Yeah, except for the only ones who are too obsessed with Sasuke is Sakura, Ino and you!

Naruto: What!? Who ever said of me being too obsessed with him!? We were only friends back then! I just miss him, that's all!

Kiba: Riiiiiigggghhhht

Shino: Is it just my sunglasses or are your cheeks reddening, Naruto?

Naruto: Just shut up!

Sakura suddenly punches both Naruto and Kiba much to their pain.

Sakura: Why must you two act like a couple of idiots!?

Naruto: Was hitting us really that necessary, Sakura?

Ino: I swear Sakura, you seriously have mental problems! On another note, what kind of nurse would've punched her own patients?

Sakura: I have never done something like that! What about you, who has sex in order to support her own business. That's really helpful!

Ino: God how difficult you are!

Kakashi: Breaking news, everyone! The ANBU Black Ops have confirmed that Sasuke and his new teammates are hiding somewhere in the Village.

Everyone's surprised at this announcement.

Chouji: But how are we gonna find them, Kakashi-sensei? The Leaf Village is huge! Besides I'm hungry now.

Shikamaru: For crying out loud, Chouji! You've just ate like….5 hamburgers at McDonald's before now! How in the world can you still be hungry?!

Chouji: What's your problem!? I just want to live, that's all!

Shikamaru: Yeah, but eating till your ass gets fattened up isn't…..oh shit!

Chouji punches Shikamaru, much to everyone's shock. He suddenly turns around and points his butt at him. He delivers a few slaps at it.

Chouji: My ass is not fat! It's attractive as a male counterpart to Kim Kardishian's ass!

Everyone couldn't help but to nearly throw up on the ground, given what the chubby boy just said.

Kakashi: As I said earlier, Sasuke and his associates are hiding somewhere in the village. I am certain they use disguises somehow. What was it again…..a Mehican or….anyway, they must be found! You may begin your search!

Sakura: But what about you, Kakashi-sensei? Won't you be joining us?

Kakashi: Eh…I can't….I have an important mission along with Iruka…so….OH MY GOD IS THAT SON GOKU FLYING UP THERE?

Everyone looks up to the sky to see if what Kakashi says is true. He suddenly vanishes from the scene. Naruto and his gang suddenly notice that the jounin is gone.

Sakura: Where did he go?

Naruto: What a jackass! This is probably the nineteenth time he leaves us so he can do something he wants!

Lee: So what are we waiting for? Let's find Sasuke! Who knows what trouble he might cause?

In another district of the village, Sasuke and his gang are wandering around dressed as Mexicans. Every villager stares at them with confusion.

Karin: These freaks keep staring at us for no reason! It pisses me off!

Suigetsu: For no reason, you say? They are staring at us because we are dressed like…..Mexicans!

Jugo: I think these outfits are not particularly appropriate to use in eastern cultures, especially those who use lame toilet humour to please themselves, right Sasuke? Uhhh….Sasuke?

Sasuke is standing on the top of a building scouting the village.

Sasuke: Naruto…..I am coming for you…we had "good times" together.

He thinks about his previous experience with Naruto, especially with the kissing accident and all the journeys they've been on together that were merely lame filler arcs.

Sasuke: After all this….you are finally mine!

Back to Naruto and his gang.

Naruto: Man, no sight of him yet. This village sure is big!

Sai: Right! You mean as big as your hairy balls and penis-shaft?

Naruto: What the hell is wrong with you, Sai!? Why do you always speak about my penis and stuff!?

Lee: Maybe it's because he likes you, Naruto! You sure attract a lot of males, not just women

Naruto: Shut up, Bushy Brows! You don't know anything about me!

Sai: Lee has a point, Naruto. You do seem hot sometimes, like when we spend together in the hot springs. I have never seen such a fine penis before.

Hinata: W-What!? S-Sai likes Naruto!? B-But I h-have fee….

Neji: Don't even say it, Hinata! There's absolutely no way in hell you're gonna get laid with him!

Tenten: Stop being so harsh, Neji! Hinata has a right to choose…

Neji: Was I talking to you, "Miss I Have a Fetish for Shoving Weapons up my Ass"?

Tenten: You're freaking sick, Neji! No wonder why anyone doesn't find you attractive.

Lee: But I find Neji attractive!

Everyone stares at him outraged. Lee gets confused.

Lee: What?

Suddenly Sasuke and his gang appear before Naruto and his gang. This spark fear and shock among everyone.

Ino: Look, its Sasuke!

Shikamaru: And he has brought with him a group of freeloaders! Man what a drag, I hate freeloaders!

Suigetsu: Did that homo with the ponytail just call us freeloaders!? Let's kick that queer's ass!

Chouji: Don't speak to Shikamaru like that! He is my friend and blood brother!

Shikamaru: Uhhhh….why are you holding my hand, Chouji?

Suigetsu: Oh great, another one? This village of yours is crawling with homos, Sasuke!

Tenten: What's with the homophobic language!?

Kiba: Eh duh! Both Shikamaru and Chouji wear earrings and they claim to be showering together during missions. Didn't you notice that!?

Tenten: Ehhhhhh…..

Naruto: Sasuke…it's you…..stop this madness, already

Sasuke: Naruto…..give me one reason why I should not destroy the village.

Sakura: Of course you shouldn't, Sasuke! Don't you know…..

Sasuke: I didn't ask for your opinion! This is between me and him! And for the last time, I don't love you!

Sakura: B-But w-why?

Sasuke: Are you seriously retarded? I consider you to be annoying and I almost tried to kill you yet you still have feelings for me? I would rather bang Ino if I was to choose between her and you!

Sakura: Ino? But you can't do that! We're on the same team!

Ino: Sasuke….you naughty bastard!

Kiba: Frankly, I don't get why girls are attracted to you at all! I mean, just look at you, Sasuke. You're a wannabe Vegeta and Hiei who always whines about getting stronger. Hell, you even waste energy on beating Naruto!

Sasuke: What the f**k did you just say!? Why do people compare me to them!? We have nothing in common!

Shino: Yeah, you have nothing in common with them, because you act like an emo who is sexually orientated towards men!

Sakura: That was not a nice thing to say, Shino!

Karin: No one ridicules my Sasuke and…

Suigetsu: Don't give us more of that bullshit! Sasuke is not attracted to neither of you!

Juugo: I swear this fan-girl effect has completely ruined our series, not to mention the fillers of course.

Out from nowhere, Orochimaru suddenly appears before them. Orochimaru smirks at Sasuke.

Orochimaru: Hey there Sasuke….remember me?

Everyone stares at him widened. It is clear that he is indeed familiar. He is also a well-known person.

Orochimaru: I just came back from the grave after being so rudely defeated by you.

Lee: Is that…..is that what I think it is?

Kiba: No way!

Naruto: It's…..Michael Jackson! How can he suddenly be resurrected?

Orochimaru takes that as an insult and begins to be depressed. He sits on the ground. The others get's confused at his behaviour.

Orochimaru: Why do people keep calling me Michael Jackson!? We have nothing in common! I am leaving this world. It's only filled with pain and suffering!

He runs away. Sasuke merely smirks to himself.

Sasuke: Finally he's gone! I don't understand why I joined him in the first place. He only took me to lame and childish amusement parks.

All of a sudden, Naruto steps closer to Sasuke's face. Everyone becomes shocked and wonders what the hell is going on. Is Naruto trying to embrace him?

Sasuke: Naruto….what are you…

Naruto: Shhhh….don't speak….I will do the rest

Sasuke: What do you mean by….

Suddenly Naruto presses his mouth against Sasuke's. They both kiss passionately at each other. Everyone around them stares at that widened. It also has an effect on them as well. Everyone realises their true sexual desires and where they lie.

Shikamaru: Oh Chouji….I….I just love you! I like chubby men who aren't the typical Britney Spears types.

Chouji: I admit that…..I have feelings for you as well! Let's hit the steak house, just the two of us!

Ino: Sakura….I'm sorry about all this trouble…..I love you more than Sasuke. Can we be together?

Sakura: Its okay, Ino! We both made the same mistake by chasing after that selfish emo. I think we girls deserve to have each other.

Lee: Neji….will you cross-dress for me? I want to see you in that, because you are sexier than Tyler Perry. We must bathe ourselves in the power of gay pride!

Neji: Lee…let me grab your ass in this sexy green jumpsuit of yours! I will cross-dress for you as long as we are together!

Kiba: Ummmm…what the hell's going on here?

Shino: Don't you realize it, Kiba? Now that Naruto and Sasuke have returned to each other, everyone has found their true sexual desires. It is the gay and lesbian pride that dominates our love lives! Everyone is now free to express their sexuality.

Kiba: Okay…..but I don't love you in case you didn't know.

Shino: That's fine by me. I actually don't wanna get laid with you either!

Suigetsu: You gotta be kidding me! Is this series turning out to be the first yaoi and yuri shounen manga in history?

Sai: Hey there, sexy boy! Do you want to join me by the hot springs? You can take that sword along with us. It will be a nice toy.

Suigetsu: God help me!

Naruto: When I become Hokage…..this village will be reborn as a centre of gay pride!

Sasuke: Yes! You are my Hokage! Take me ass your wife! It will be the first gay marriage in an anime and manga world!

Tenten: Uhhhh….have anyone seen Kakashi-sensei yet? Oh that's right! He left for something important. What is he doing by the way?

In a hot springs, Kakashi and Iruka are bathing in the same place. They turn up the song: You're my first, my last, my everything!

Iruka: Oh Kakashi…..you're so sexy with that mask of yours!

Kakahi: Thank you! And you are sexy with that scar across your nose.

And thus began a new era for the shinobi: the era of tolerance.

_To be continued…_

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**Author's note: This was my first attempt at a Robot Chicken sketch. Hope you enjoyed it! **

**Characters belong to Masashi Kishimoto. Show belongs to Seth Green. **


	2. Chapter 2

**Author's note: This is how I would've wanted a Robot Chicken sketch to be. It's just for fun! The series were created by Seth Green**

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**Chapter 2: Avatar: The Lost Theory**

On the strange moon of Pandora, humans are mining a precious mineral so they can preserve the legacy of capitalism. But their operations are threatened by the natives of Pandora: the Na'vi. In order to interact with them, the mining operation established the Avatar Program where they could reach out to them, without getting shot, of course. But that is a great responsebility. We now see Colonel Quaritch having a discussion with the head of this program: Dr Grace Augustine.

Quaritch: Are you sure about this, Dr Augustine?

Grace: I am colonel! We have no other choice. As much as I hate to educate him on all of these things, it's either that or nothing.

Quaritch: Then we shall use this Jake Sully to infiltrate the Na'vi's community or whatever the hell you call it.

Grace: Not infiltrate, you idiot! Learn about it! You know something, colonel? You better stop acting like some kind of dirty imperialist and express more tolerance towards others! And I trust this Jake Sully is not a psycho killer like you!

Quaritch: (thinks) She is one unfu**able lardass, no kidding! She would even throw herself naked amongst those lame blue monkeys.

When the transport ship lands, most people expect to see a disabled former Marine coming out, but they are wrong. Instead, a young, brown-haired man with glasses and dressed in a green jacket comes out. He is holding a book with a unique symbol on it. He walks around with this oxygen mask every human outside buildings are required to wear. He asks a solider about a few questions.

Man: Excuse me, sir! Is this place….the headquarters of the Atlantis expedition?

Solider: No! Who are you? Are you Jake Sully?

Man: Actually, my name is Milo James Thatch and I am supposed to join this expedition to Atlantis.

Solider: You're far away from home! This is Pandora! The only thing that matches with what you're saying is the Avatar Program.

The man identified as Milo James Thatch suddenly snaps.

Milo: Avatar Program? Oh crud, have I joined the wrong expedition?!

He reaches for a paper in his jacket where it stands: "You are invited to join us on an adventure to a new world". However, he reads something which is indeed troubling for him. "Join us at the Avatar Program, where you will explore the culture of Pandora's natives". He freaks out after reading that line.

Milo: Holy freaking crap! I have joined some kind of a test subject program! C'mon Milo! Relax…..think! How in the world did I suddenly end up with this paper anyway?

A few days ago in a bar, Milo was chatting with a disabled man. His name was if he remembered correctly Jake Sully. They were both incredible drunk and could barley manage think properly. They even wiggled around their papers, where they had been invited to each of their own adventures. They both threw up and slept in the bar for the night. The next day, they each grabbed their own papers….or so they thought.

Milo: Well….that makes sense….and I'm still a little hangover from that night. Anyway, what the heck am I supposed to do!? Well…..I could at least…..see what's inside. Besides, it's not everyday a linguist like me get's access to such programs.

Milo decided to enter the station where he is immediately welcomed by members of the Avatar Program and the colonel himself.

Quaritch: So I take it you're Jake Sully, right?

Milo: Eh….yeah! I am….

Quaritch: But you can't possibly be a former Marine! I mean, you look like one of those four-eyed morons I used to beat the living crap out during high school. Ahhh I loved those times!

Milo: Uhhhh….I'm a linguist, actually.

Grace: A linguist? Does that mean you already know the Na'vi language?

Milo: Na'vi? Who's that?

Quaritch: Let's just skip to the mission, okay? Then he will probably understand what we mean! Dr Augustine, I expect you and the program to teach this rookie here about our job here!

Grace: Whatever you say…..sir

Milo is taken to the quarters of the Avatar Program, where he is introduced to his Avatar. He is very surprised by the Avatar's large height.

Milo: Am I supposed to steer this….alien cat guy?

Grace: Don't call them aliens! They are a people, just like us!

Milo: Oooookaaaaaayyyy

Norm: Since you have your twin brother's DNA, you should be able to steer it clearly.

Milo: Huh, my twin brother? Oh, of course! How could I not forget him?

Grace: This one IS really clueless. But we will give it a shot and se if he truly possesses some potential.

As Milo enters the Avatar machine, he finally get's connected to his Na'vi. He is surprised at first, considering how tall he is, but he soon get's used to his new form.

Milo: Oh my God! I can run fast and climb fast! It's incredible! But my sight is quite disturbing. I can't see clearly with these eyes.

Norm: Is that the reason why you're walking like some drunken bear?

Grace: Are you saying you need a pair of glasses for this form as well? You gotta be kidding me!

Milo: Just give me some, already! I'm about to break my nose here!

Grace: It's not even your real body, you moron!

So Milo put on some big glasses which were created randomly. As Milo walked around the Avatar are with his new glasses, other Avatar users noticed him and laughed at his appearance. Some were playing basketball others were playing football.

Avatar dude 1: Hey look! The program has allowed a Star Wars nerd into our ranks!

Milo: Ehhhhh….what?

Avatar dude 2: God I hate those freaks! This one looks like a cat-like Jar Jar Binks with blue fur and stuff.

Avatar dude 3: C'mon dudes! Let's kick that motherf**ker's ass!

Milo starts sprinting as fast as he can to run away from those troubling Na'vis. In fact, Milo accidentally managed to run out of the camp and into Pandora's wilderness. He soon found himself completely lost.

Milo: Aw man! Now I'm stuck in the middle of nowhere! How am I gonna find the way back to the camp!?

Suddenly he heard a growl coming from behind him. He turned around and saw thanator coming slowly towards him. Milo ran out of fear and the creature chased after him. He didn't have a clear idea about where he was, so he needed to dodge trees and other dangerous plants that lurked around. Unfortunately, Milo ran towards a cliff and fell from it. But he landed in water, which at least saved his Na'vi hide.

After getting up from the water, the Na'vi wandered through the jungle, hoping to find something that resembled the mining operations. But so far, he hadn't found anything, not to mention that he ran away from a dangerous beast. This irritated him.

Milo: Why did I even come to this….stinking moon!? All that exists is nothing but selfish douchebags, inhumane beasts and….

He suddenly stopped when he saw a young female Na'vi appearing before him. This surprised Milo. Apparently she was not from the camp. She was a native to Pandora.

Milo: Uhhhh…hi

But she suddenly aimed an arrow at him, much to his outrage. He managed to dodge an arrow that was coming towards him.

Milo: AHHHHHHHHHHH I HATE THIS GODDAMN WORLD!

But all of this is not reality. In his bed, Milo suddenly awakes from his strange dream. He finds himself on his bed in Atlantis besides his wife Kida. He puts on his glasses and walks through and sees if this was truly a dream. It turns out, it was.

Milo: Yes! Finally! Everything about that world was in a dream! I'm back in Atlantis!

Milo breathes out a sigh of relief. Kida awakens and notices Milo standing there.

Kida: Are you okay, Milo?

Milo: Huh? Yeah….I just had the weirdest nightmare yet.

Kida: A nightmare about what?

Milo: Well….it was almost as if there existed a civilization similar to Atlantis…..except for the fact that it's people were….some kind of blue monkeys.

Kida: Maybe you should stop watching James Cameron movies for a while, Milo.

Milo: You know…..I guess you're right.

_To be continued…._

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**Author's note: This was chapter 2. It was a crossover between Avatar and Atlantis: The Lost Empire. Both movies have similar plots as well as characters. Well, perhaps not the case with Milo and Jake, but you get what I'm saying. **

**Avatar belongs to 20****th**** Century Fox**

**Atlantis: The Lost Empire belongs to Disney**


	3. Chapter 3

**Author's note: This is how I would've wanted a Robot Chicken sketch to be. It's just for fun! The series were created by Seth Green**

**Warning: Contains sexual themes and stuff**

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**Chapter 3: Even Thieves like Boobies**

Its midnight in the city of Paris, but not everyone is sleeping. On the rooftops, a young adult raccoon jumps from rooftop to rooftop while sneaking. He also leaps on ropes which leads him closer to his destination. The raccoon is an international-famous master thief called Sly Cooper. He has been called everything from a master thief to a gentleman, a poet and even a playboy. But first things first he is a master thief. He stands on a rooftop overlooking a well-known building. Suddenly his communicator beeps. It is the brain behind his gang's operations: a turtle named Bentley.

Sly: Okay Bentley! I'm standing a few meters from it now. Let's do this!

Bentley: But Sly, wouldn't it help to take some pictures in order to…

Sly: Screw that! This is actually a mission I will enjoy the most, so I don't wanna take more of those lame pictures.

Bently: Whatever….be careful about this, Sly! This building has a tight security. What is this building, anyway?

Sly: Just trust me, you won't be disappointed. From what I understand, there's some rich guy owning it. He must have a safe inside it somewhere.

Bentley: Okay. Normally, I should've read about this, but if what you say is true then it's fine by me and Murray. Besides, we really need that money. Those greedy socialists in this country keep raining down taxes upon us! I swear we better move to London or something!

Sly: We will think about that later, okay? But right now, make sure you and Murray are not parked in the open. I will be in touch with you guys once I'm inside. Are you with us, Murray? Murray?

Bentley suddenly notices his friend Murray munching some Dunkin' Donuts. The big hippo stops this once he sees the turtle's disapproving glance.

Murray: Sorry! I am with ya guys! Just don't screw up the infiltration, Sly!

Sly: Yeah, yeah! I get the picture big guy! Sly Cooper out!

Then the title of this Sly Cooper episode shows up: Sly Cooper and the gang in…..**Boobies + Booties = F**k Yeah!**

Sly is now on the top of the roof, but he sees a rat guard smoking not far from a door. This convinces the thief that the door is locked and that the rut must be carrying a key somehow.

Sly: I better steal the key from that so-called handsome guard over there.

Sly sneaks up behind him and snatch the key out of the rat's pocket. But he stares at him one more time. He suddenly uses his staff to assassinate the rat in silence.

Sly: I felt an urge to do that. Besides, I better learn something from those guys at Abstergo Entertainment.

The thief enters the door and begins sneaking. He eventually ends up in the buildings vent system. He crawls in order to find the right way, but it's very difficult given that the vent system is particularly big. But he suddenly stops when he sees a purple light coming from one of the vent system's many brief openings. This makes him smile gleefully.

Sly: Finally I'm there! I hope I'm not too late for this!

As Sly begins peeking from the opening, his face becomes crazy. Believe it or not, but the building Sly actually infiltrated was a strip club. He can see various women dancing close to the poles while shaking every part of their bodies to the audiences' satisfaction. Sly takes up his camera in order to get a better look at the strippers.

Sly: Oh yeah…..yeah….shake that booty!

Bentley: Sly? What's with all the loud music? If I didn't know any better then this must be a…

Both Bentley and Murray suddenly drop their jaws while seeing what Sly is currently recording. Bentley's mouth keeps drooling while Murray's eyes stares at the recording with big eyes.

Murray: Boobies! Lots of them too!

Bentley: We came all the way just to see some strippers!? You gotta be joking!

Murray: But Bentley, this is so…IRRESISTIBLE!"

Bently: But Murray we….what are you….OH MY GOD! THAT'S DISGUSTING!

Murray: Yeah…..oh yeah! Show me what you got, bitches! Make this hippo d**k grow harder.

Sly was still watching the show with gleeful eyes. He even took some pictures of the strippers. But the music suddenly stopped and the lights were lowered. The spotlight was then focused on the central pole.

Announcer: Alright guy! Prepare to witness some hot Latina and foxy action all at the same time! So please welcome this lovely cop hoe to this night!

Sly suddenly becomes crazy once he sees who that woman really is. It is none other than Interpol's top inspector: Carmelita Montoya Fox. She is one badass cop! The woman begins dancing around the pole while teasing the audience with her spectacular body. Sly's mouth begins drooling and he almost nosebleeds.

Sly: Whoa! Damn! Just look at that body! Her hips, her tits, her thighs, her ass….she is a walking sex machine! I would give anything…even the Thievius Raccoonus just to get laid with her!

Carmelita danced around and winks at every man who wants to do all kinds of things with her. They all throw Euros at the pole. She lies herself on the ground while lots of Euros keep raining upon her. Sly becomes amazed by how much money she receives.

Bentley: Sly! Look at those Euros! How about you sneak into the backstage and see if you can steal them!

Sly: Oh so now you are supportive of my idea?

Bentley: Just shut up and get those Euros!

Murray: Oh….here it comes! Ohhhhh YEAHHHH!

Bentley: AHHHHH DAMN IT, MURRAY! THE SCREEN IS COVERED BY YOUR….

Sly: Well, guess that I'm on my own now that communications are out of touch.

Sly finally finds a way out of the vent system. To his surprise, he is at the backstage. He spots Carmelita sitting on her chair while counting her Euros. She is alone and no one seems to be around, making Sly glee in amusement. He sneaks up on her, but he decides to act on his naughty desires and wait for Carmelita to stand up from her chair. Once she does that, Sly deliveries a hard slap at her right ass cheeks, making her shocked. She turns around and becomes outraged of what she sees.

Sly: Hey there, sexy! Nice performance out there!

Carmelita: Cooper! How did you find me here!?

Sly: How did I? Babe, I always knew your outstanding body would attract millions of Euros, Dollars, Reals or whatever! To be honest, you're a terrific stripper, even better than a cop!

Carmelita: Don't push your luck, smartass! This is only a part-time job! I have strived to support myself since the socialists came to power here! Interpol is currently licking the boots of them.

Sly: You know something? I have an idea! How about you and me leave France or the European Union for that matter? We can move to another country where we can still play cat and mouse!

Carmelita: Oh? I'm listening….tell me more.

Sly: I suggest we should retire our jobs and settle somewhere comfy. Maybe Singapore! After all, we can use your Euros on that…

Carmelita: Don't speak any further, you "sly" raccoon! Just follow my lead!

Sly: Uh-huh? And what is your lead?

Carmelita turns around and bends giving Sly a nice view of her behind.

Carmelita: Just watch this ass and follow it! Then we will be together!

Sly: I couldn't agree more, my little Carla Bruni!

They went to Carmelita's apartment and had some "nice" time together.

Carmelita: OH GOD YEAH, THAT FEELS SO F***ING GOOD! TAKE ME TO OUR PARADISE, YOU THIEVING SON OF A BITCH! AHHHH!

It was really satisfying for both of them. But what happened with Bentley and Murray? Well, let's take a look.

Bentley: Okay Murray! Get this piece if junk started before the cops arrive!

Murray: Yeah, yeah! But my car is NOT a piece of junk, you stupid handicap!

Bentley: Just start the engines, already!

Murray begins starting the engines, but it won't start. This makes them both frustrated.

Murray: C'mon! Start, you piece of crap! Uh-oh!

Bentley: What do you mean by uh-oh?

Murray: It looks like the diesel's empty. I forgot that we were supposed to use the Euros Sly was coming with to pay for the diesel fuel! We didn't have much money to pay for a fuel.

Bentley: Are you kidding me? But Sly is currently using the Euros for himself! Now we are stuck here because of him and you, ya big, pink turd!

Murray: We are you blaming me? I didn't expect Sly to ditch us for some cop lady with a sweet ass!

Bentley: I swear could this night get any worse?

Unfortunately, it gets worse. The police show up in front of them. The cars block them on both sides.

Bentley and Murray: Oh f**k!

_To be continued…._

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**Author's note: This was chapter 3! This was probably more sexual related than the previous two. But this was a good chapter**

**Sly Cooper belongs to Sony Computer Entertainment**


	4. Chapter 4

**Author's note: This is how I would've wanted a Robot Chicken sketch to be. It's just for fun! The series were created by Seth Green**

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**Chapter 4: Britain's Got Talent: Elmer J. Fudd**

Tonight in London, a contestant coming all the way from Hollywood is a well-known figure. He always speaks like some child who can't read properly. So let's see who it is!

Ant: Hello there! What's your name?

Elmer: Hewwo! My name is Elmer J. Fudd! Huh-uh-uh-uh-uh-uh-uh-uh!

Dec: Where are you from, Elmer?

Elmer: I've twavewwed all the way fwom the United States of Amewica to Gweat Bwitain!

Ant: Whoa! That's a long journey you have been on! What is your reason for participating on Britain's Got Talent?

Elmer: I want to become a famous singer, wike Susan Boywe! I have heard how famous she became by singing on Bwitain's Got Tawent. I wanna be just wike her!

Dec: Wow! So you are going to sing on the stage, is that it?

Elmer: That's wight! Oh boy, I can't wait to impwess the audience with my singing voice! It is almost as beautiful as the singing voice of Andwea Bocewwi!

Ant: Well, I wish you good luck then, Elmer! Be strong!

Dec: Yeah! Hopefully you will impress Simon and the others!

The stage is set and Elmer is just standing a few meters from the scene. Ant and Dec are watching was the small man walks to the front stage. They both watch with intriguing eyes. As Elmer shows up at the scene, the audience cheers. Some of them is even aware of who he is, considering that he is a celebrity from Hollywood. The three judges are Simon Cowell, Piers Morgan and Cheryl Cole. They all watch him with wondering and interesting faces.

Simon: Hello!

Elmer: Hewwo to you too! And hewwo evewyone!

Simon: (grimaces)…

Cheryl: What is your name?

Elmer: My name is Elmer J. Fudd. Huh-uh-uh-uh-uh-uh-uh-uh!

Simon: Umm…where are you from?

Elmer: I'm fwom Howwywood in the United States of Amewica.

Simon: Ooookkaaay….

Piers: What kind of work do you do, Elmer?

Elmer: I'm a hunter by pwofession and usuawwy hunt wabbits.

Cheryl: What is your reason for coming this far to London?

Elmer: I have come to Wondon to impwess you with my singing!

Simon: Pardon me, Elmer! But why are you speaking like that?

Elmer: What is your pwobwem? Evewybody can understand what I'm saying!

Simon: No, I really can't understand what you are saying. Now answer my question, is that how you normally speak?

Elmer: Of course it is! I've spoken wike this since I was born.

Pier: Okay Elmer! What will you sing for us tonight?

Elmer: I'm going to sing this song: Can't Stop Woving You by Phiw Cowwins!

Cheryl: Excuse me but are you actually interpreting as Can't Stop Loving You by Phil Collins?

Elmer: That's wight! I'm about to sing that song.

Pier: Well, good luck with that, Elmer!

Simon: Oh God this will be painful to hear.

The music starts playing and Elmer prepares his microphone for his singing voice. Let's hope he does his best. The music is wonderful, yet Elmer's singing is kind of….awful.

Elmer: (sings) So you're weavin'

In the mownin'

On the earwy twain

Well I couwd say evewything's awwight

And I could pwetend and say goodbye

Got your ticket

Got your suitcase

Got your weavin' smile

Well I could say that's the way it goes

And I could pwetend that you won't know

That I was wiein'

Cause I can't stop woving you!

No I can't stop woving you

But suddenly, all three judges slam their buttons, making Elmer stop singing. Most of the audience boos at him. They didn't find his singing voice to be satisfying enough. Simon rolls his eyes in annoyance. Elmer himself stops and becomes shocked that people don't like his singing voice. He doesn't understand what is going on.

Simon: Can I be honest with you here?

Elmer: What do you mean?

Simon: You have among the most awful singing voices I have ever heard on these shows. I don't even understand how you fail to notice it yourself.

Elmer: Hey don't talk to me wike that! My pawents think my voice is wondewfull!

Pier: I agree with Simon. You sing like some baby who barley speaks properly.

Cheryl: You have the enthusiasm, but you lack the talent. That is all that I can say to you.

Simon: So unfortunately there will be three NOs from us. You are completely and utterly talentless.

While the whole audience stands there booing at him, Elmer merely stands there with sad eyes. But those eyes soon transforms into eyes of anger and hate. He takes out his gun and points it towards the entire audience including the judges.

Elmer: So you all think my singing voice is wubbish, huh!? Bawoney! I will show you my twue tawents. So I thweaten evewyone with my gun! No one, not even thwee siwwy judges can tell me what I'm faiwing at! Huh-uh-uh-uh-uh-uh-uh-uh!

But suddenly while Elmer points his gun upwards, he accidentally pulls the trigger which results in one of the scene lights falling down towards the stupid hunter. He looks up once he notices its shadow around him.

Elmer: Howy Sh…splash

The light falls upon him and he dies as a result.

_To be continued…._

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**Author's note: This was chapter 4, if some of you thought that it would've been better if he was on America's Got Talent then you are welcome to express your opinions. I just wanted to see how it would've been if Elmer actually met Simon Cowell. Hope you readers enjoyed this sketch!  
**

**That's all folks!**

**Loony Tunes belongs to Warner Bros**


	5. Chapter 5

**Author's note: This is how I would've wanted a Robot Chicken sketch to be. It's just for fun! The series were created by Seth Green**

* * *

**Chapter 5: House of Mouse: The Lost Episode**

In Mickey Mouse's well-renowned clubhouse, lots of Disney's theatrical and classical characters come during nights to enjoy themselves from the cruel greedy world. But this night however, the clubhouse is visited from an unexpected character, which was first thought to be dead or committed himself suicide due to the film's low box office performance.

Outside the clubhouse, Max is responsible for readying or parking guests' cars. However, tonight he will experience something different. An old Jeep nearly hits him by driving on the sidewalk. The one driving it is technically drunk. He is an old, cantankerous and miserable man by the name of Amos Slade. He stops the engines and exits his vehicle. There is no question that he is drunk, given what he just did. Max stares at him outrageous.

Max: Just what the hell do you think you're doing!? You almost killed me back there!

Amos: Ehhhhh…..what the….BUUURRPPPP….are you sayin', kid!?

Max: Stupid, old geezer! Have you seriously been drinking!?

Amos: Drinking? Me!? I would never do something reckless as that! Why the f**k am I speaking to a dog, anyway? And I only thought Chief and Cooper were the only dogs who could talk. Man how messed up my life is!

He begins walking towards the entrance, much to Max's outrage.

Max: Hey! Where do you think you're going!?

Once inside the foyer, Amos stumbles upon Donald Duck, who is responsible for welcoming every guest into the clubhouse. The duck stares at him confused.

Donald: Who are you? I have never seen you here before. Are you even in a Disney movie?

Amos: What the….off course I am in a Disney movie! I never get invited to attend fancy, motherf***ing nightclubs like these! Are you stupid or something!?

Donald: You sir have seriously mental issues! Get out of the clubhouse!

Amos: Screw you, feathered pea-brain! You're a duck with ADHD. No wonder why people find you less entertaining!

Donald takes a big issue with this, so he gets depressed and runs away. The drunken hunter continues to walk towards the receptionist, but he is stopped by the voice belonging to the Magic Mirror

Magic Mirror: You are one pitiful creature, Amos Slade. Your depravity sickens me.

Amos turns around and glares angrily at the Magic Mirror. He then unzips his pants and starts peeing on him, much to the Mirror's disgust. Amos lets out a large burp while doing this nasty thing.

The hunter approaches the receptionist: Daisy Duck who is responsible for making sure every guest has a place to sit. She gives Amos a confused look on her face.

Daisy: Ummm…who are you?

Amos: What….oh great, another retarded duck! I was the part time anti-hero and part time villain in that movie or whatever you call it! I was merely a hunter who enjoyed killing animals and ruining everyone's lives. How the hell don't you recognize me?

Daisy: Amos Slade? Oh my god what are you doing here?

Amos: I have come here to socialize myself with the rest of you…Disney-folks! Don't you have enough seats for me?

Daisy: I am sorry, but you are not invited and there are not any seats available for you. Besides, only the most popular and well-known characters are welcomed here in the…

Amos: Popular and well-known my asshole! I thought Disney was supposed to be a family who was open towards anyone! What has happened here!?

Suddenly, Rapunzel and Flynn approach the table in order to check themselves in. Amos stares at them widened.

Daisy: So glad you two could make it! I have a table ready for you.

Rapunzel: Oh that's great! I can't wait till the show begins! Don't you agree, Flynn?

Flynn: Yeah! I hear you babe! And not to be rude, but who is this forgotten character standing in front of us?

Amos: So now you allow the f**king CGI aka Communist Greedy Institute characters into Disney's ranks!? Now I see what it is!

Daisy: Look, sir! I must please ask you to leave or else I will call the police! Is that…

Amos continues walking, very intoxicated. Daisy decides to call the police anyway, in hopes of getting him away.

The hunter now walks around the main hall, where every guest takes their seats. Most of them stare at Amos while he walks around like an idiot. Some of them even don't know who he is, while others find him hilarious

Berlioz: Look, mama! That old man is acting all silly! Isn't that funny?

Duchess: Oh my goodness, what a miserable person he is.

Toulouse: Yeah, mama! He reminds me of Edgar.

O'Malley: Really? He reminds me of Uncle Waldo.

Aladdin: What's with the old man?

Iago: Is that what you ask? I wonder if he even is from a Disney movie.

But the old hunter doesn't seem to care what everyone thinks about him.

Amos: Hello everybody! This is your old pal Amos Slade coming to visit you in this big….

The hunter throws up on the table belonging to Ariel and Sebastian. They become disgusted by this.

Ariel: Ewwwww! Gross!

Sebastian: What in King Triton's name is the meaning of this!? Don't you have any respect towards people around you, you peasant!?

Amos: Hey shell-head! I got a question for ya: why do you sound like some Jamaican who recently got his ass f**ked up?

Sebastian becomes depressed and runs away, while Ariel glares at Amos disapprovingly.

Ariel: That was not a nice thing to say! Go apologize to him!

Amos: Hah! I could care less about what you Disney Princesses and their Zionist pussies think! Characters like me have experienced way more hell than you ever have!

Ariel: Excuse me!?

Amos: See you at the sushi-bar, you redheaded bitch! And don't forget to donate your tits to the Japanese!

Ariel becomes offended by this and begins to cry. Apparently she didn't like being called as such. She presses her bra made of clams while crying

Ariel: Does these clams make me look like a slut? Maybe they do.

The hunter walks over to the table belonging to Gaston who is trying to flirt with Belle. The young man stares at Amos with an irritated look on his face. He rises up from his seat.

Gaston: What's the big idea, old man!? Can't you see that I'm on a date here!? Beat it, or else I will knock you down!

Unbeknownst to him, Amos puts a bear trap on his seat in secrecy. He plays cool with Gaston while taking a brief look at Belle.

Amos: I'm sorry…I will leave ya two turtledoves alone…see ya around!

With the hunter out of the way Gaston returns to his seat, only to get a bear trap on his butt.

Gaston: AHHHHHHH! MY BALLS! MY BIG HAIRY, F**KING BALLS!

This leaves his seat open for Amos to take, so he does that.

Amos: Finally he's gone! I swear I could've knocked that queer's head clean off with my bare hands.

Belle: Ummmm was that really necessary?

The old hunter climbs up at her table and pulls down his pants. He takes a dump at her dish which makes her puke on herself.

Amos: Ahhhh that's better! You deserve to have this turd as a reward for your movie's nomination for Best Picture!

Belle: You disgusting pig!

But things turn ugly once the Beast approaches the table with really angry eyes. He is furious over Amos's behaviour.

Beast: Get off the table or I will kick your…..

He suddenly gets a bear trap on his face, much to his agony. Amos decides to pay Mickey Mouse a visit.

Amos: Nice knowing ya…ehhhhhh…..f**kable brunette with a nice face

Belle: Screw you!

On his way to Mickey's office, Amos passes the table belonging to well-known Disney Villains. At the table: Jafar, Ursula, Hades, Captain Hook and Cruella De Ville. They all begin to laugh once they see Amos passing by.

Hades: Well! Look who's coming to dinner! It's none other than the shabby hunter himself!

Cruella: What is he doing here!? He is nothing but a thorn in Disney's rouge gallery!

Hook: We possess far more money than him! If he is an anti-hero than why hasn't he made a name of himself?

Ursula: Who cares about him? He is not even a villain, only a grumpy man who exists to make us hate him!

Jafar: Stop wasting time one something as useless as him! Let's begin our plan for this clubhouse! We will take the shots now!

The old hunter ignores them and proceeds walking to the backstage. Once inside, he finds Mickey and the rest of his gang waiting for him.

Mickey: What's the big idea of ruining tonight's show!? Anyone who ruins shows are not welcome in the House of Mouse! Now you better scram before the cops arrive!

Amos: I finally found you, you balloon-eared twit! Now it's retribution time! Prepare to get screwed!

But before he can charge at them, Jafar and his gang appears at the backstage, much to everyone's shock. They have planned on taking over the clubhouse and remake it after their own image.

Jafar: Sorry to interrupt your precious evening, Mickey and co.! But we will take over this crib of yours for ourselves!

Mickey: Jafar! What trickery is this!?

Hades: Hah! Face it suckers! You're all running out of time! No one can stop us, not even the cops!

Ursula: We have closed all doors to this clubhouse! Now you are all our hostages!

Minnie: Oh no! The police won't make it inside! These villains will surely use their evil powers to take control over the clubhouse! How will we prevail against this!?

But all of a sudden Amos starts shooting the villains one by one. They all fall on the floor lifeless. Only Jafar is the only one still standing, but he is very injured. He begs the old hunter not to kill him as Amos approaches the wizard with a pissed off expression on his face.

Jafar: Wait! Show mercy! I am technically Jewish, but I fully support the Palestinian cause! You gotta believe in me! I am a character from the Disney Renaissance!

Amos: Disney Renaissance my asshole! Dark Age and everyone else forgotten for the win! So long, you Zionist fu**head!

He delivers a headshot at Jafar and he his headless body lies on the floor. Mickey however is surprised by the fact that Amos would help them. He slowly approaches the hunter, who is confused at this

Mickey: Ya know, you really do belong here in the House of Mouse! Care for a drink? You can even have your own performance tonight, if you wanna.

But Amos responds by kicking his balls. He then slams Goofy and the rest of the gang with his gun.

Amos: Why should I be friends with thieving scum like you!? I would rather hang out with another anti-hero type than hanging with a mouse that was probably raised by chipmunks!

Suddenly, John Silver approaches him and takes off his hat in respect.

Silver: Ah I see! You are also a forgotten villain who reforms at the end of the film! Let's go get some booty!

Amos: Tell me about it! I'm with you, pal!

The House of Mouse is transformed into a strip club. At the stage, Jessica Rabbit and Holli Would are dancing while making out with each other passionately. After the kiss, they turn to face the audience with seductive glances.

Jessica: We're not bad.

Holli: We're just drawn that way.

The entire audience howls at them. Their mouths start drooling. Even small children are watching it, but they don't seem to get the point of this. Silver and Amos are among the audience who cheers at them.

Silver: Now that's what I call BOOTY!

Amos: Boy, you said it!

_To be continued…._

* * *

**Author's note: This was chapter 5! It was a sketch about the Disney show: House of Mouse. I was poking fun at Disney's constant monetary desires! If any of you found this offensive than please excuse me! ****XD**

**Characters in this chapter belongs to Disney**


	6. Chapter 6

**Author's note: This is how I would've wanted a Robot Chicken sketch to be. It's just for fun! The series were created by Seth Green**

* * *

**Chapter 6: The Straw Hats and their biggest Adversary**

In the giant ocean, the Straw Hat crew is sailing across the Grand Line hoping looking for adventures. This man sleeping on the Thousand Sunny's head is Monkey D. Luffy. We all know his story and his dream to become the King of the Pirates. You see he ate the….

Luffy: Yeah, yeah! We get the picture already! Forget the introductions!

Ahem. As I was saying, Luffy and his friends Zoro, Nami, Usopp, Sanji, Chopper, Robin, Franky and Brook are sailing across the Grand Line to find something new and exciting. We all know the enemies they have fought against. But unbeknownst to them, something sinister is waiting from the shadows.

The crew is minding their businesses as usual. But all that changes when a strange elderly man dressed like an executive appears on the ship out of nowhere.

Nami: Guys! There is someone aboard our ship!

Usopp: It's an enemy! Run from your lives!

Chopper: AHHHHHH!

Zoro and Sanji: What a bunch of idiots.

Every Straw Hat member gathers around the executive guy and confronts him. Luffy approaches him first.

Luffy: Who are you? And how come you dress like some executive?

Stranger: Ha, ha, ha! Sorry if I'm intruding here, Straw Hats! I just wanted to meet you personally.

Zoro: That doesn't answer Luffy's question!

Sanji: Yeah, tell us who the hell you are, before I deliver a kick upon your fat face!

Franky: What's with your outfit? Are you some kind of World Government official or something?

Stranger: No, no tough guy! I'm serving a power far greater than the likes of that!

Nami: What is that old man talking about? Do you understand this, Robin?

Robin: Oh no….it can't be!

Luffy: Huh? What's wrong Robin?

Sanji: If that man is intimidating you then I shall defend you from him!

Zoro: Can it, playboy! This is a serious matter here!

Sanji: Mind your own business, douchebag!

Robin feels more uncomfortable as the man rises up from his seat and eyes every crewmember. Luffy begins to sense danger from that man.

Robin: That man is….Al Khan from 4Kids Entertainment!

Every crewmember widens at her mentioning.

Usopp: What!? But didn't Al Khan retire from the company when it went into bankruptcy?

Nami: Yeah! The company got sued by TV Tokyo over the distribution rights of Yu-Gi-Oh!

Khan: Enough! Yes I did retire from business, but that didn't stop me from getting my revenge over you fart-loving mongrels!

Luffy: Revenge…..for what?

Khan angrily grabs Luffy by his collar and eyes him.

Khan: Idiot! I mean for all the harassment me and our company has suffered! I was merely doing my job to introduce Japanese culture to American audiences. But you….ruined it! Because of you, my company went through hard times!

Zoro: Doing your job? Was changing the racial skin of a character, food and music of a world-famous series your job? That sounds like some communist editing!

Chopper: Yeah! Editing sucks ass!

Brook: Isn't America supposed to be free? And here I thought that China was the strictest country in the world! Yohohohoho!

Nami: Beat it, you old commie! This isn't some homosexual Superman or Captain America series!

Luffy: The manga world doesn't possess any signs of homosexuality! Well….except for Naruto off course.

Khan: Shut up, dimwits! I don't care about the difference between comics and mangas, but I will make you and your world pay for what you did to me and my former company! So I have a present for you!

The Straw Hats prepare their fighting stances, only for Khan to use his special ability. They feel strange all of a sudden.

Luffy: What's…..happening!? My voice…

Chopper: Oh no! Franky and Brook are disappearing!

Both characters are transported out from the scene.

Sanji: What? A lollipop….MY VOICE!

Luffy: What have you done to us!?

Khan: Ha, ha, ha! I ate the Censor-Censor Fruit! As such, I can manipulate anything that I find disturbing or too violent. I will make you more suitable for younger audiences! Good luck with living the rest of your lives with that! Ha, ha, ha, ha!

Straw Hats: NOOOOOOOOOOOO!

_Five days later, on the Grand Line_

The ship has been transformed into the Going Merry, but that's not all. Franky and Brook have disappeared from the series, leaving only seven members of the Straw Hats left. Their voices have changed as well. The background music was an awful rap song.

Luffy: AHHHHHH! Another lovely morning! How are you doing, everybody?

Zoro: For crying out loud, Luffy! Stop yelling with that terrible voice! I swear, you sound like a 16 year old homeless girl with a sore throat!

Luffy: Don't tell me what to do, Zolo!

Zoro: And stop calling me that! It's Zoro, damn it!

Nami: I'm growing sick and tired of this crap! Everyone is acting like doo-doo heads!

Zoro: And you sound like some valley girl. And why do you keep calling us that?

Nami: I don't know! I always say doo-doo for no reason! It scares me!

Luffy: Ha, ha, ha! Your voice is so weird, Nami!

Usopp: Hey! Have any of you seen my slingshot? Someone must've taken it while I slept so sweet like a child.

The trio tries to hold their laughs, much to Usopp's anger.

Usopp: Why do you crabby paddies keep laughing at my voice!? It's not that ridiculous, is it!?

Luffy: We can't help it! You sound like a leprechaun on a crack!

Zoro: This makes you just as annoying as Jar Jar Binks! Yeah that's what we'll call you! Jar Jar Usopp!

Usopp: Shut up, Zolo! You may have a more normal voice, but your name sure is absurd as your looks are!

Zoro: Why you long-nosed, son of a….

Just then, Robin walks out the door with Chopper accompanying her. Sanji flies after her with some meal in his hands.

Chopper: How are you doing everyone! I've just finished checking on Robin's condition. She's much better now.

Sanji: Wait up, Robin! How about you and me share this meal? My hearts burns for you, my sexy Texan!

Robin: I don't even know what that is! And this accent I'm speaking is nothing I have ever heard of!

Luffy: Whoa! Robin sounds like some ranch girl! I never realised it from before!

Sanji: Of course it is, you biatch! Robin's voice is sexy as hell that makes you wanna….

All of a sudden, everyone except for Nami and Robin starts laughing at Sanji's voice. They find it to be completely inappropriate for his character.

Usopp: You sound so stupid, Sanji! Are you a troll who's brain-damaged or something?

Sanji: Shut up, you stoned Pinocchio! Or else I will turn that smile of yours upside down!

Zoro: Is that supposed to be threatening? Give me a break, Sanji! That lollipop habit of yours doesn't intimidate any of us at all!

Sanji: You'll pay for that insult, Zolo!

Zoro: STOP…..F**KING CALLING ME THAT!

Sanji: I might not have a cigarette, but my voice sounds cool like a Manhattan gangster! Don't you agree, Nami?

Nami: Dream on, doo-doo head! ARRGHHH I HATE THAT WORD!

Robin: My, this is way out of hand.

Chopper: Well my new voice fits my character well. And I haven't been renamed or anything.

Luffy: Ummmm…..who are you?

Everyone stares at Luffy outrageous because he doesn't recognize Chopper.

Chopper: It's me, Luffy! Are you really that stupid!?

Nami: Well, Luffy still retains the same low intelligence!

Usopp: Can't you see that's Chopper? He's the doctor on this crew, don't sweat it!

Nami: Stop yelling so much with that voice, Usopp!

Usopp: Stay out of this, valley girl!

Nami: Don't take that tone with me, doo-doo head!

Zoro: There you go saying it again!

Luffy: What's a doo-doo head, anyway?

Chopper: But Luffy I am Chopper! See? I'm a reindeer!

Luffy: Oh it is you, Chopper! That voice of yours made me convinced that you were a goat character from Sonic the Hedgehog or something.

Chopper: I'm a reindeer, retard!

Zoro: Anyway, I hope Franky and Brook are doing okay.

_In a faraway place_

Both Franky and Brook are sitting on an isolated island while watching the waves.

Franky: So this is it, huh?

Brook: I'm afraid so….but I will soon disappear from this world!

Franky: Huh!?

Brook: Well you see….since 4Kids skipped the Laboon arc….I've technically no reason for joining the Straw Hat Pirates…..which means I won't be viewed in the series! Yohohohoho!

Franky: But where will you be sent to?

Brook: I don't know….perhaps Halloween Town! I'm actually a Japanese relative of Jack Skellington, so I'll probably end up there!

Franky: Good luck with that, pal! God luck with that!

_To be continued…._

* * *

**Author's note: That was chapter 6! This was to poke fun at the 4Kids dubbing of One Piece as well as minor elements of the series.**

**Characters belongs to Eiichiro Oda**


	7. Chapter 7

**Author's note: This is what I would've wanted a Robot Chicken sketch to be. I will try to go where Seth and his team haven't. The series was created by Seth Green.**

* * *

**Chapter 7: How to NOT Train Your Dragon**

This is Berk, where many unbelievable things happen. We all know what the story is, about some awkward geek training an overgrown reptile. But this is a different story. We venture into the forest behind Berk where we see Hiccup struggling to find his way. About an hour ago, he remarkably managed to capture a dragon. Now he will seize the opportunity to prove himself loyal to his tribe.

Hiccup: Oh come on! This forest can't be THAT big! I mean, it's just the forest BEHIND the village!.

The young boy accidentally falls on the ground thanks to the vine from a tree. But he manages to get back on his feet.

Hiccup: This is just yakcrap!

But suddenly, he notices a nearly fallen tree. This can only mean one thing: the dragon must be there!

Hiccup: Whoa! This is it! I better sneak to get a closer look.

As the young Viking sneaks closer, he becomes very surprised. You see, he has actually captured a small purple-scaled dragon with golden horns. This is none other than the video game world's most beloved dragon, Spyro. Hiccup can't believe his eyes. Spyro immediately notices Hiccup and glares at him angrily.

Spyro: Hey you! Are you that asshole who shot me down!?

Hiccup: Nooooooooooooo

Hiccup tries to lie, but Spyro keeps glaring at him.

Spyro: Cut the acting part! I can see you're lying!

Hiccup: Okay, I did it! But I thought you were a…..a fairy or something!

Spyro: Enough of your stupid lies, geek! Just cut this net and I may forgive you!

Hiccup: How do I know I can trust you? You are a dragon after all.

Spyro sighs deeply in annoyance before he eyes the boy once again.

Spyro: If you free me, I promise I won't flame you. Is that a deal?

The young boy stares at the dragon for a minute, but he eventually decides to free Spyro. So he cuts the net, but he is given a painful attack by Spyro's charge. This infuriates the young boy.

Hiccup: You jerk! Why did you do that? You said you wouldn't hurt me!

Spyro: I said I wouldn't flame you, but I never said anything about not charging at you.

Hiccup: By the way, what sort of dragon are you? I mean, you look similar to a Terrible Terror, but you're a little bit taller. And you can talk! How's that even possible!?

Spyro: What is this, a roleplaying contest? Get your gaming ass somewhere else!

The young dragon then starts walking into the forest causing Hiccup to be curious about Spyro. He really needs to find out more.

Hiccup: Well….that was….unexpected.

Back in Berk, Hiccup spots Snotlout trying to charm Astrid, but to no avail.

Snotlout: Hey there, babe! You wanna join me on a fishing trip? I feel a little lonely without that sexy, wild…

Astrid kicks his balls, but it makes him completely enamored than hurt. The tough girl sighs in annoyance.

Snotlout: I'm in Valhalla!

Astrid: Get away from me, you freak!

Hiccup chuckles at this, although he slightly blushes at the view of Astrid. The girl sees him but becomes disgusted and walks away.

Hiccup: Oh my gods! Her serious look makes my heart melt.

Suddenly, a friend of Hiccup named Fishlegs appears beside him.

Fishlegs: Hey there, Hiccup! Did you find that dragon you shot down?

The brown-haired boy widened at his question, but he sucked it up before answering.

Hiccup: Nah! It was just some grouchy bird who couldn't even fly straight. So I let it go.

Fishlegs: Well that's too bad. But you better be prepared for the dragon fighting! Your dad just signed you up on that!

Hiccup: He WHAAT!?

In the chieftain's house, Hiccup is having a discussion with his father.

Hiccup: Why did you do that without telling me!?

Stoick: Ye always wanted this, son. Now ye have it! Don't tell me that you lack the guts to fight in the arena! Show us what you got!

Hiccup: Yeah…but…

Stoick: No buts, Hiccup! Is that a deal?

Hiccup: Deal…..thanks by the way.

Stoick: Well I better get going! The search for the dragon's nest starts now. See you in a few days, boy.

As Stoick leaves the house, Hiccup briefly murmurs by himself.

Hiccup: Could this get any worse?

Next day at the arena, Hiccup is almost killed by a Gronckle, until Gobber intervenes and locks up the dragon. Once the training's over, most people speak trash about Hiccup. Gobber decides to have a little chat with the boy.

Tuffnut: What's the point of participating when you can't even lift your own axe!?

Ruffnut: Sucks to be you!

Gobber: You must not underestimate a dragon, Hiccup. Most of them will kill you if they get the chance!

Back in the forest, Hiccup is picking up Spyro's trail. He finds the dragon by a lake.

Hiccup: Hey there, unknown, short-tempered dragon! Remember me?

Spyro: Yeah I remember you. You're that annoying freak I chose not to kill yesterday. Why are you here?

Hiccup: Ehhhh….I just wanted to ask you a question…if that's okay with you.

Spyro: Well, spit it out! I ain't got all day!

Hiccup: Where are you from? For some reason, I think of you as you don't come from this world.

The young dragon widens at that.

Spyro: You're right! I actually came to this world by a portal. On its getaway it stood: THE WORLD OF THICK-BEARDED FATASSES

Hiccup: Oooookay…..but we Vikings are not necessarily…what did you call us?

Spyro: Just forget about for now. I just read what stood at the getaway. But anyway, after going through the portal, I ended up flying towards your village. I saw it was being attacked so I thought to myself if I should help you.

Hiccup: Let me guess: my invention technically prevented you from helping us, right?

Spyro: Case in point.

Hiccup: But even if you did try to help us, my people would just try to kill you. You see, we have a major problem with dragons.

Spyro: Oh no! Don't tell me Ripto has taken over your world as well!

Hiccup: Who in Thor's name is that?

Spyro: Nothing, I was just talking to myself. But listen: I need to get back to my world. In order for me to do that, I must help your people somehow.

Hiccup: But how are you gonna help us? My people hate your kind.

Spyro: What if I just helped you? Think about something you truly desire the most.

This hits the young boy's head like a hammer. He suddenly has an idea and starts whispering to the little dragon about it. He listens, but becomes outraged afterwards.

Spyro: ARE YOU SERIOUS!?

Hiccup: Come on, it will work! And believe me; we will have a good time together!

Spyro thinks about this for a moment. Sighing in defeat, he agrees to Hiccup's terms.

Spyro: Why me? This better be quick!

Hiccup is trying to actually fly on Spyro. This is really difficult for the young dragon, given the fact that he's not necessarily strong enough to carry a human. But the young Viking however, has so much fun flying in the skies.

Hiccup: YEAAAAAHHHHHHH! THIS IS SO FUN! FLY HIGHER, SPYRO!

Spyro: I….can't do that…with my body! You sure weigh a lot….for being so scrawny!

Hiccup: Shut the f**k up, flame breath! You're jealous!

All of a sudden, Spyro gets a cramp on his neck and this makes him howling in agony. The duo eventually dives towards the ground, much to Hiccup's excitement.

Hiccup: WHOOOOOHOOO! WE'RE GOING DOWN!

Unfortunately they crash towards a cliff, where they are unable to steer through due to….well Hiccup's inability to steer Spyro.

_To be continued…._

* * *

**Author's note: This was chapter 7. Lots of dragons here, well expect that Toothless was not present.**

**How to Train Your Dragon belongs to DreamWorks Animation**

**Spyro the Dragon belongs to Sony/Universal **


	8. Chapter 8

**Author's note: This is what I would've wanted a Robot Chicken sketch to be. I will try to go where Seth and his team haven't. This series was created by Seth Green**

**Chapter 8: Judge Judy: Griffins vs Smiths **

You are about to enter the courtroom of Judge Judith Shiendlin. The people are real. The cases are real. The rulings are final. This is Judge Judy.

Tonight we have a very special case. It's actually between two sitcom families who are funny, but lack originality. What will be the outcome of this case? Let's have a look!

Byrd: All parties in the matter of Griffin vs Smith! Step forward please!

Peter Griffin and his wife Lois are suing fellow party attendants Stan Smith and his wife Francine for medical bills and a false arrest. The Griffins say: Stan threw an empty bottle at Peter in a drunken rage. The Smiths are countersuing for medical bills, vandalism and harassment.

The judge arrives at her seat and the case is about to begin. Judy has a little chat with Officer Byrd.

Byrd: This case is number 555 on the calendar in the matter: Griffin vs Smith.

Judy: Thank you

Byrd: You're welcome. (Eyes the audience) Parties have been sworn in. You may be seated. Folks, have a seat.

The audience takes their seat. The plaintiffs are Peter Griffin and his wife Lois. Sitting by their side is their children Meg, Chris and Stewie, as well as their talking dog Brian. The defendants are Stan Smith and his wife Francine. Sitting by their side is their children Hayley and Steve, as well as the alien called Roger (in a disguise off course). Most of their other witnesses are currently sitting backstage.

Judy: Mr. Griffin this gentleman over there is a fellow party attendant. Now let me get this straight. You and your family were invited to a party which was hosted by an old friend of yours, correct?

Peter: Eh yes ma'am!

Judy: Mr. Smith and his family were also invited to this party. (Eyes Stan) Is that correct, sir?

Stan: Yes, your honor!

Judy: You two didn't know each other from before. You first met each other on this party, right?

Peter and Stan: Correct!

Judy: Okay. Now Mr. Griffin, this lawsuit of yours alleges that during midnight at the party, Mr. Smith assaulted you while you were trying to break up a fight between your wife and this lady over there (points at Francine). But you had been drinking, so it's safe to say that both of you were drunk during that time.

Peter: Ummmmm…I didn't necessarily drink that much. I just drank a few mugs of Pawtucket Patriot beer.

Judy: Yes and by doing so, you were drunk! That goes for you as well Mr. Smith, because I've read your answer. You didn't drink beer, but you were also drunk.

Stan: Yes, but I didn't drink any alcohol, your honor. I just took a few bottles of Portuguese wine. It's not as bad as Pawtucket Patriot….

Judy: But you were also drunk! Listen carefully, Mr. Smith! We both know that wine is also alcohol. It doesn't really matter if it's Portuguese, French, Italian, Argentine or even Thai wine. Drinking much of it can make you intoxicated!

Stan: Yes, but…

Judy: That's enough, Mr. Smith! You may not have realized this, but I'm much smarter than any dumb and clueless workers at CIA. I expected at least someone like you to realize it before you came to this courtroom.

The whole audience laughs while Stan slowly bows his head in shame. Francine tries to comfort him. Meanwhile, Peter is briefly laughing, but he is stopped by Lois.

Lois: Peter, not now!

Judy: Anyway Mr. Griffin, this alleged assault left you with serious injuries, including your left eye and arm and you wanna be compensated for that. Also you claim that you were falsely arrested for vandalism and you are suing for the days spent in prison, which I will get to as the case progresses.

Peter: Yeah! And just one more thing, your honor: the prison I was sent to reeked of puke and poop! And it took me freaking 6 months to bail me out of that place! I demand some extra dollars for that experience!

The audience laughs at him while the judge grimaces disappointingly.

Judy: I could care less about your days in prison, Mr. Griffin! The only thing that's important is if your arrest was legitimate or not!

Lois: Your honor! Please excuse us for this, this is Peter's second time suing someone so…

Judy: Well that is indeed remarkable, Mrs. Griffin. But let's see here what the defendants are saying in their answer. Mr. Smith says that it was you Mr. Griffin who started this altercation after you made an insult to his wife.

Peter: Yeah, because she was constantly harassing my wife, that is!

Judy: As we go further, they also say that you allegedly vandalized their vehicle by….oh God this is just too embarrassing to tell this on television….but you damaged the car with a baseball bat while the Smiths were inside. And then….you began peeing and pooping at the car's frontal window. Is that what you are saying, Mr. Smith?

Stan: Yes ma'am!

Judy: But if you were drunk….who was driving the vehicle?

Francine: I was your honor!

Judy: Okay! So the Smiths are suing for damages to their car and they want you to fix it! Also the Smiths are countersuing for harassment which I will get to later, but right now, let's start from the beginning! And we'll start with the Griffins. Now, what was this party you and your family were invited to, Mr. Griffin?

Peter: Ummmmm…

Judy: Um is not an answer! You do remember the host's name, right?

Peter: Oh, his name was Cleveland Brown. He used to live with us back in Quahog and…

Judy: Don't lose your track! What was this party about, Mrs. Griffin?

Lois: We were actually invited to Cleveland's birthday party. He had invited lots of families he knew over at his house. We were invited because he used to live at our neighborhood. So we were going to visit him and his family.

Judy: Okay. Now where does this Cleveland Brown live?

Lois: He lives in Stoolbend, Virginia.

Judy: I see. Now Mr. Griffin, you mentioned something about Quahog. Is that where you and your family live?

Peter: Yes ma'am!

Judy: And which state is Quahog located in?

Pete: Weeeelll…..I think its Maryland.

Judy: What do you mean by you think? You are living there! How can I trust with what you're telling me if you can't even remember where you usually sleep, eat or watching television?

The whole audience laughs again. Lois rises up her arm.

Judy: (Sighs irritated) In which state is Quahog, Mrs. Griffin?

Lois: It's in Rhode Island, ma'am

Judy: Well, at least your wife is more reliable than you, Mr. Griffin. New let's move on! How did you travel to Stoolbend, Virginia?

Peter: We drove by car.

Judy: What was the date of this birthday party?

Peter: It was august the 13th 2014. But we arrived at Stoolbend days earlier, so we slept at their house.

Judy: Okay. Now let's get to the party! When did it start?

Peter: It started around 7 o clock.

Judy: And this incident happened around midnight?

Peter: Yes ma'am.

Judy: Okay and you had been drinking. So I'm gonna ask both you and you wife to tell me about how this happened. (notices Brian sitting) Who's the dog?

Peter: Oh that's our dog.

Judy: And what's his name?

Before Peter can answer, Brian speaks up with his normal voice, making Judy amazed.

Brian: I'm Brian Griffin and I live with them.

Judy: Were you witnessing this altercation between those two immature grown-ups?

Brian: Yes ma'am!

Judy: (to Byrd) I like him already! Stand up, please!

Brian walks over to the couple and finds a stool where he can stand tall enough for Judy to notice him.

Judy: Okay…Brian. About midnight, were Mr. Griffin drinking?

Brian: Yes ma'am!

Judy: And what was his wife doing?

Brian: She was having a conversation with that blonde chick over there.

Judy: Is that true, Mrs. Smith?

Francine: So far, yes.

Judy: Okay. Now Mrs. Griffin, how was your conversation with this lady over there?

Lois: Oh we were just talking friendly to each other! It had been many years since we had seen each other and…

Judy: So your husband and Mr. Smith didn't know each other from before, but you and she did?

Lois: Yes….actually.

Judy: How do you two know each other, Mrs. Smith?

Francine: Uh…I hate to be rude your honor….but it's a little bit embarrassing to say this in court.

Judy: What do you mean by that? Were you both working in a drug cartel or something?

The audience laughs at this.

Lois and Francine: No!

Judy: Then just tell me: how did you two know each other?

Realizing it's pointless to resist, both mothers take deep breathes. Lois answers first.

Lois: We used to work together in a porno studio, when we were younger. But once the studio went into bankruptcy, we went separate ways.

The whole audience whistles in surprise at her answers. Some even find this fact interesting. Both Lois and Francine blushes in embarrassment at this. Stan and Peter meanwhile watch their respective wives with absolutely surprised faces. The same goes for their witnesses. Judy sighs annoyed.

Judy: Oh my God! Not only do I have to deal with two idiots, but two MILFs as well! This better be good. Anyway, what was the conversation about Mrs. Former MILF?

Lois: Oh the usual stuff! Motherhood, marriage and all other things related to our personal lives. But once we spoke about our husbands, things started to get ugly.

Judy: And what do you mean by that?

Lois: Well, once she got a glimpse of Peter, she started to trash-talk him.

Francine shakes her head in disbelief. She is not amused by Lois's explanation.

Judy: And what was your husband doing while you were watching him? Was he drinking?

Lois: Yes ma'am!

Judy: So he was drunk. Because that's what you say in your complaint. When you spoke about your husbands, they were both drinking. Don't you agree, Brian?

Brian: Yes, your honor! I don't deny it.

Judy: Very clever! Now what kind of words did Mrs. Smith say about your husband, Mrs. Griffin?

Lois: She said something like: "Whoa!" and "Who's the fatass with the glasses?". I then hit back at Francine, telling her not to judge people by their weight and appearance. And we kept bickering with each other until Peter came over to us.

Judge: So you two ladies were arguing and it went on until Mr. Griffin approached you. Now Mr. Griffin, what did you say to this lady over there?

Peter: I said…"what's your problem, lady?" "Leave my wife alone!"

Francine continues shaking her head. Stan glares at Peter with irritation.

Judy: And then what happened?

Peter: Francine flipped me off and said very mean words to me. I was about to tell her to stop until someone banged my head from behind.

Judy: You didn't see who it was, right?

Peter: Well….yeah, but once I fell on the ground, I immediately turned around to see who it was. And Stan stood there with an empty bottle in his left hand.

Judy: (to Brian) Was Mr. Smith the one who banged this idiot's head, sir?

Brian: Yes ma'am!

Stan shakes his head and raises his hand in order to be given the word, but Judy turns him down.

Judy: Don't worry Mr. Smith! I will get to your version as soon as possible. So just zip it for now.

Stan grumbles while glaring at their adversaries.

Judy: What did the defendant do to you, while you were lying on the ground, Mr. Griffin?

Peter: The only thing I remember is that he suddenly stomped on my arm. I tried to get him off while struggling with the pain. I pushed Stan to the ground, tried to get up on my feet, but suddenly, a bottle hits me left eye.

Judy: Was Mr. Smith lying on the ground when it happened?

Peter: Yeah! That son of a bitch threw the bottle at my face then!

Judy: Just a minute! When you're in court, profane language is not accepted when describing your story.

Peter: But Lois said such words before I did.

Judy: But the difference there is that….she doesn't say these bad words once speaking to me formally! YOU however, think this is a playground! So watch your language here, mister!

Peter Yes…ma'am.

Judy: Now that I know your version of this story, I want to hear the Smith's version of this story. And we'll start with you, Mrs. Smith. Were your family also invited to this party?

Francine: Yes, your honor!

Judge: And how did you know the Browns?

Francine: Actually my husband had been working with Cleveland from before and…

Judy: Now Mr. Smith, how did you and this Cleveland know each other?

Stan: I once caught him and that fat son of his for speed racing. Originally I intended to report this to the higher authorities but I had a change of heart once Cleveland agreed to do housework in our family home for 12 months. So after this, we kept in touch with each other.

Judy: Okay….what kind of relationship is that? (to Byrd) What do you think of this, Byrd?

Byrd: Sounds kind of messed up.

The whole audience laughs at this, but only for a brief moment.

Judy: Where do you and your family live, Mr. Smith?

Stan: Langley Falls, Virginia.

Judy: Now let's get to the midnight! All I know is that your wife was having a conversation with Mrs. Griffin. (Eyes Francine) So tell me your version of this story, madam!

Francine: Well it's true that we spoke about motherhood and stuff, but we didn't speak about our husbands.

Judy: Then what subject was you discussing that started this little altercation?

Francine: Lois started to call me a slut and claimed that I would have cheated with Stan for some other random guy. But I fought back, claiming she was a way more slut than me.

Judy: So are you telling me that you weren't arguing about your husbands? It was all about….sexual desires?

Francine: Technically yes.

Judy: That's ridiculous! Two grown-up women with pornographic roots start an altercation which eventually ends up being more troublesome! How stupid can you be!? You are mothers and housewives, not teenagers and brats!

Lois: Can I say somethi…

Judy: I'm speaking! And it's best for you to put your listening ears on, madam!

Lois: Right…sorry

Judy: Now just tell me what happened afterwards! I feel like this case's gonna be much easier than I first thought. So Mr. Griffin approached you and he was drunk! Now what did he do?

Francine: He was furious and grabbed my left arm. Then he swung at me so that I fell on the floor. He began cursing at me while getting angrier.

Peter begins crossing his arms while Lois shakes her head. Judy notices this and asks Peter to stop doing that.

Judy: Uncross your arms, Mr. Griffin.

Peter: Why? Got a problem with that?

Brian: (whispers) Peter, you don't stand like this in a court! Just uncross your arms!

Peter uncrosses his arms and Judy continues focusing her attention on Francine.

Judy: And that's when your husband intervened in this fight?

Francine: Yes ma'am! He pushed him to the ground, but then Peter got up and began assaulted back.

Judy: Okay and your husband were also drunk?

Francine: Ehhh…maybe…

Judy: Don't say maybe! I just asked you a question and the answer is either yes or no! So listen carefully, because I've read your answer! Your husband, who had been drinking Portuguese wine, was also drunk, don't you agree?

Francine: Yes ma'am.

Judy: Good! Now let's move over to your injuries, Mr. Smith. Did you throw an empty bottle at Mr. Griffin?

Stan: Yes, but it was in self-defense and….

Judy: I don't care about self-defense! You can't throw an empty bottle at people, because it will cause serious injuries! Now tell me, Mrs. Smith: did Mr. Griffin ever throw something back at your husband?

Francine: Yes! He grabbed a nearby glass and threw it at Stan's face. That's how he got serious injuries around his mouth.

Lois shakes her head in order to deny the allegation.

Judy: Then that settles it! The conflict started when you two ex-porn stars were having a ridiculous bicker and it got worse once your two idiot husbands intervened! And it's a good reason why they got serious injuries!

Lois and Francine: What?

Judy: They were both drunk! And when you're drunk, you cannot control your own actions! That's why I'm dismissing both cases involving that episode! Do you understand!?

Stan and Peter: Yes ma'am.

Judy: Good, and as we move further, I'm beginning to understand why these different cases of yours seem irrelevant to me. Have any of you a police report?

Stan: We have ma'am!

Judy: I'd like to see it please.

Byrd hands the Smiths' police report to the judge's desk. She begins reading it in order to clarify her opinion to both parties.

Judy: Tell me something, Mr. Smith. Were you also arrested by police during midnight?

Stan: Ehhhh…..

Judy: The reason I'm asking you this is because the one who called police during midnight was not you as you say in your answer! It was Cleveland Brown who did that! That means only one thing!

Peter and Stan: What?

Judy: You were both arrested because you were wreaking havoc in his household! There was no act of vandalism! The apprehending of you two morons occurred in the same place your porno wives had started their bickering! (Notices Roger raising his hand) What!?

Roger: Excuse me, your honor but I have proof that Stan Smith's car was vandalized….

Judy: Then show me a picture! And who are you anyway?

Roger: Oh I'm just an old family friend of the Smiths. I also have proof…

Judy: Stand up!

Roger stands beside Stan and Francine. He then gives Byrd a picture for Judy to look at. She is not convinced or amused.

Judy: Do you honestly take me for an idiot? Everyone can see that this fake!

Roger: Shut up! My talents at Photoshop are undiminished you…..

Judy: Then that settles it! Your case is dismissed Griffins and that goes also for you Smiths with regard to your counterclaim! Good bye, idiots and MILFs!

The case ends and the audience give Judy a well-deserved applause for her action. The Griffins and Smiths meanwhile feel both embarrassed and humiliated. Now they realize that they can't surpass the Simpsons.

_To be continued…._

**Author's note: Well, this was the longest chapter yet! I admire Judge Judy and I love how she immediately takes on idiots who appear in the shows. Hope you enjoyed it! **


	9. Chapter 9

**Author's note: This is how I would've wanted a Robot Chicken sketch to be. It's just for fun! The series were created by Seth Green.**

* * *

**Chapter 9: What the Ed Just Happened?**

We know visit the cul-de-sac of Peach Creek, where we see the three dim-witted musketeers: Ed, Edd and Eddy. They stand in the middle of the streets doing what they always do: scamming people, but this time it's different. Eddy has an Acer laptop on his lap.

Eddy: You're a genius, Double D! Scamming people on eBay is way better than creating lame souvenirs and attractions. With this, we could purchase lots of jawbreakers.

Edd: But Eddy, eBay is meant for trading, not scamming! Oh dear, why did I ever show you this in the first place?

Eddy: Chill out, sockhead! Just look at all the people who have bought something from us. There's that retard Rolf who thought he had bought a reflective vest, but you know what he got.

We look at Rolf's farm, where the son of a shepherd walks around doing his job while wearing a swimsuit similar to that of Borat's. As a result, he is nearly naked.

Rolf: Rolf likes this shiny suit. It makes people to watch out for Rolf. Besides, it is comfortable for Rolf's balls and penis shaft.

We go back to the Eds and Ed comes up with a suggestion to Eddy.

Ed: Hey Eddy, how about we buy us some monster movies? The ones we weren't allowed to see are for sale on eBay! And they are cheap!

Eddy: In your dreams, monobrow! We ain't gonna waste this wonderful opportunity on some stupid movies! People are falling for those fake products we have. Hey look! Kevin just bought this manipulated poster of Nazz with Pamela Anderson's body we created.

Inside Kevin's bedroom, we see the boy with the red caps jawing at the picture on this screen. Salvia runs from his open mouth.

Kevin: My….precious!

We go back to the Eds on the street. Edd has had enough with Ed and Eddy's scheme.

Edd: This has gone too far, gentlemen! Doing scamming on the Internet much dangerous than what we usually did here.

Ed: The Internet? Oh boy, we can download monster movies! Give me the laptop, Eddy.

Ed tries to take the laptop from Eddy but the young boy lifts it up, thus making Ed falling on his lap.

Eddy: Get your stinky hands off MY laptop! I am trying to get us some money here.

Ed: I want monster movies!

Ed surprisingly stretches out his tongue and grabs the laptop with it, much to his friends' surprise.

Edd: Good lord!

Eddy: What are you doing!? Your salvia is destroying the laptop! Stop it!

Eddy grabs Ed's teal tongue, not knowing that doing this makes actually Ed feeling sick. The laptop is back to Eddy, but Ed is not feeling so well. His cheeks are becoming big.

Ed: Uh guys? I'm not feeling so good…..I think I must

Edd: Hold it, Ed! Not here! Go get a bucket or something!

Eddy: Aww hell no!

Ed starts throwing up on Eddy and with his laptop much to Edd's disgust. The smart boy also starts throwing up, given what he just saw. Eddy shrieks like a girl knowing he and the laptop is covered with puke. The puke is made of junk food eaten by Ed.

Eddy: NO! MY LAPTOP! IT'S DESTROYED!

Edd: Oh dear….I can't take it anymore! Ed's puke smells like a combination of the ass of a camel and stinky gym socks!

Ed: Ah, it was good to let all the stuff out of my belly! I was thinking about crapping it out! But instead it came out of my mouth. Ahahahahaha!

Suddenly, Eddy charges at Ed, thus pinning him on the ground. He is angry as hell.

Eddy: You stupid motherf**ker! You ruined our cash machine! We were about to make millions of cash on eBay!

Ed: But all of those stuffs we were selling were something we took from our parents. And all we ever sold was merely pictures.

Eddy: But we still made money on that! But then you puked on my laptop!

Edd: You were the one who grabbed Ed's tongue, Eddy! So basically, it's your fault!

Eddy: Oh yeah! Say that to my face, sockhead! Your encyclopaedic language won't save you!

While they are bickering, Ed notices his stomach grumbling, meaning that he needs to take a crap! He feels that he can't run to the nearest toilet or else we'll crap uncontrolled. It has to come out. He suddenly reaches his hand for Edd's hat. We finally see Edd's hairstyle which is that of Mobil Suit Gundam SEED character: Athrun Zala. Eddy gapes at this.

Eddy: My god Double D….why do you keep wearing that sock on your head? I mean, you could've banged every girl you came across.

Edd: Eh…..THAT'S NONE OF YOUR BUSINESS! ED, WHY DID YOU TAKE MY….

He and Eddy both turn around to see something incredibly disgusting. Ed is crapping into Edd's hat and it becomes bigger.

Edd: OH MY GOD, YOU'RE SHITTING ON MY HAT!

Eddy: DUDE! THAT'S SICK!

Ed: BUT….it needed to come out of my ASSHOLE…ARGH!

Unbeknownst to them, all the neighbourhood kids took snapshots of the Eds with their cell phones and posted it on social websites like Facebook and Instagram. The pictures had many viewers and likes, especially the one with Eddy covered in Ed's puke and Edd's hairstyle. After seeing this on his computer, Ed felt happy, Edd was embarrassed and Eddy grumbled angrily.

Ed: Finally! We have become worldwide Internet-celebrities! I am so proud of myself!

But Eddy suddenly banged his fist into Ed's face, thus sending him flying. He suddenly noticed Edd blushing.

Edd: Ummm….I just received over 200 love e-mails once the pictures were posted. I know that my hairstyle is unusual, but I didn't know it was that attractive, to be honest.

Eddy: I hate the Internet!

_To be continued…._

* * *

**Author's note: That was chapter 9! This time it was Ed, Edd n Eddy. I think this series is among the best cartoons from Cartoon Network ever created. I like it's slapstick comedy. **

**Robot Chicken belongs to Seth Green**

**Ed, Edd n Eddy belongs to Danny Antonucci**


	10. Chapter 10

**Author's note: This is how I would've wanted a Robot Chicken sketch to be. It's just for fun! The series were created by Seth Green**

* * *

**Chapter 10: Disney Sketches**

**_Scene 1: Hades visits a Psychologist - Hercules_**

We see Hades lying on a couch while the psychologist speaks to him.

Psychologist: Now Mr. Hades, let's start all over again. Tell me what you have experienced in the last few days.

Hades: What I have experienced? I'll you what! I have always been the laughing stock in my family for ages! And the only reason for that is because of my job! I mean, being the God of the Underworld is my job, so they can't treat me like some loner.

Psychologist: Which one from your family do you think mistreats you that way?

Hades: Well, everyone does. But Zeus is the driving force behind this! That son of a….oh that's right, we share the same mother so I shouldn't say this. Anyway, Zeus is my irritating and overconfident douche of a big brother.

Psychologist: When did you and Zeus have this kind of relationship?

Hades: Technically when he was a teenager while I was still in my bloopers. We managed to kick our abusive father's ass and then imprison him. But it was after that, Zeus began acting like a dick to me. Furthermore, he made me in charge of the Underworld, and still harasses me to this day! I hear now that he has a son too.

Psychologist: That would make him your nephew, right?

Hades (thinks): Okay Hades. Shall you tell him the truth? C'mon, he is your mortal enemy who's gonna ruin your plan in the future so why not tell this? He might wanna give you some advice.

Hades: Nah, he's actually adopted, so he has no blood relation to me.

**_Scene 2: Are You a Bear or Not? – Brother Bear_**

We visit the North American wilderness, where we see Kenai (who has for some magical reasons transformed into a bear) conversing with the moose brothers Rutt and Tuke. He tries to convince them that he is a human, although they are not convinced.

Kenai: Look, I am a human. I was lifted by my brother and transformed into a bear by the Great Spirits.

Rutt: I hate to be rude, bear, but all that Great Spirits crap doesn't make any sense at all. You probably fell off from a cliff or something.

Kenai: But that's true, I did fell off from a cliff. I could barely remember it because I had amnesia or something.

Tuke: Hey, if you are a human, then I am a big wolverine without sharp teeth. Just look at them (growls).

Rutt: You know what I think you are, bear? I think you more of a retard than that of a human.

Kenai: WHAT!?

Tuke: Hey, that was a good one, Rutt! A fitting description! Oh listen to this: the story of the retarded bear who thinks he's a human.

Both brothers laugh at this, while Kenai stares at them irritated.

Kenai: I am not retarded! I am telling you the truth!

Rutt: Okay, we have heard enough, retarded bear. No more of your crazy antics, please.

Kenai: But I….ah forget it! You know something? F**k you two! I just keep wasting my time discussing this with you! I better find this mountain I'm supposed to meet my brother at.

Kenai walks off leaving the two moose talking for themselves.

Tuke: You think he will be alright?

Rutt: Yeah, he'll probably meet someone as crazy as him. You know, for being a bear, he sure was a dick.

Tuke: For once I agree with you, Rutt. Being a moose is much cooler than being a bear.

Rutt: You said it, Tuke!

**_Scene 3: Wilbur's Mobile Conversation – The Rescuers Down Under_**

In the nest of Marahute, Wilbur the albatross is taking good care of the eagle eggs while Bernard is off to rescue Bianca and the others. So far, everything is quiet. But Wilbur becomes bored and sighs deeply.

Wilbur: Ah this sucks! I can't believe I am stuck doing babysitting for some eggs! I wanna go kick some poacher butt too!

Suddenly a ringtone appears and Wilbur knows what it is. He picks up a mobile phone and eyes it.

Wilbur: Well that was unexpected. Who can it be?

The albatross answer it and begins a mobile conversation.

Wilbur (talking to the phone): Hello this is Wilbur from Albatross Airlines, how can I…..Oh, hi Betty, it's you! Boy, am I glad to hear your voice…..Where I am? Oh, I'm in Australia right now, the Land Down Under and…..What? Yes I'm on the job right now. But for some reason I got involved in some badass mission by my passengers so it will take some time before I can return home, but don't worry, pumpkin. You and I are gonna have ourselves some….Wait, what did you say? Let me get this straight! Are you….You're breaking up with me? But…why, Betty? We have barley known each other for two months, you can't just…You say I'm boring you? What proof do you have for me being…Lazy? Me? That's bullshit! I have a fulltime job flying mice from New York to places like London or Paris, that isn't necessarily lazy! And besides, it's hard doing a business alone when your brother is dead. Just…..Betty, please! Don't start crying, I still care about, you know…What? You think I'm cheating you for some other chick? You gotta be f**king kidding me! I've never watched a porno or something! I never checked out on…..Now you listen to me, Betty! You're overreacting for something you don't know a damn thing about….Yes you are! But look sweetheart, I don't have time for stupid arguments. Can you please just have patience with me? I promise I will change once I get back home….Um Betty…..Are you still there?

Wilbur realises that she has hung up the phone, making him slump in defeat and anger. He switches his mobile phone off.

Wilbur: Stupid c**tface! I hate my life sometimes!

He suddenly feels the eggs moving, but he doesn't care. He sits still angrily.

Wilbur: Yeah! Go ahead! Laugh at how my life sucks! But you dipshits don't have a clue what life is about….yet!

**_Scene 4: Pinocchio and Stromboli - Pinocchio_**

Inside Stromboli's wagon, the greedy puppeteer is holding Pinocchio imprisoned so he can keep a better eye on him. He then explains what he will do next.

Stromboli: We will tour the world! London. Paris. Monte Carlo. Constantinople…..

Pinocchio: Argh! My eyes, my eyes! Disgusting! Gross!

Stromboli becomes confused to see what the problem is.

Stromboli: What's the matter with you? Have you seen a ghost or something?

Pinocchio: No, but I almost threw up once I saw your fat ass showing its crack! Seriously, how nasty can you be!?

Stromboli briefly looks at his bum and then eyes Pinocchio again with an outrageous look on his face.

Stromboli: What has my ass with something disgusting to do!? Every human has one! But you don't, because you are a puppet!

Pinocchio: I know that, but a "normal" human wouldn't shake his buttocks in front of a small child! Are you a child molester of something?

Stromboli becomes shocked by this and angrily retorts back.

Stromboli: Like I said, you aren't a human! You don't have an ass! Besides, puppets aren't supposed to have feelings and emotions as well!

Pinocchio: Oh I see you are a discriminator! That's what you truly are! A discriminating lardass! You discriminate against those who have feelings and are non-human. How would've liked if I made fun of your actual Romani culture, huh!?

Stromboli sighs deeply and unlocks Pinocchio's cage, thus opening it.

Stromboli: Just leave me alone. I don't want you in my life anymore, so get out of this wagon.

**_Scene 5: Never Underestimate the Milkman – The Aristocats_**

In the French countryside, Thomas O'Malley is trying to help Duchess and her kittens in getting a ride back home to Paris. They set their eyes on a very modern milk van (not the one seen in the movie). O'Malley stands on a branch and prepares to scare the hell out of the milkman. The Aristocats are hiding in the grass nearby.

O'Malley: Okay sweet-cheeks! Watch and learn how I scare the living hell out of him!

O'Malley eyes the Aristocats before jumping off the branch to land in front of the van. He does that but given the fact that the van is modern and driving in fast speed, O'Malley is technically crashed by the van's frontal window. The milkman sees this and freaks out.

Milkman: JESUS F**KING CHRIST!

He pulls the breaks immediately, thus sending O'Malley flying towards the grass and on to the water. He then starts hauling in pain.

O'Malley: OWW MY MOTHERF**KING PAWS! GODDAMN IT THAT HURT, YOU SON OFA BICTH! OWWWW! F******K!

The Aristocats run over to O'Malley with shock in their eyes.

Duchess: Oh my goodness! Are you alright, Mr. O'Malley?

O'Malley: OW! I'm dying….help me!

Berlioz: Mama, aren't cats supposed to be able to land on their legs?

Duchess: Why yes, darling. Why do you ask?

Toulouse: Because we don't think O'Malley is a cat.

Marie: Yeah, he must be an overgrown cougar cub or something.

O'Malley: What the f**k is that supposed to mean!? Are you Parisians really that clueless!?

**_Scene 6: Gaston's Proposal: Uncut Version – Beauty and the Beast_**

We see Belle opening the door and in come Gaston dressed in his wedding suit. He tries to propose to Belle.

Gaston: Hey there, my sexy brunette! How's it going?

Belle (facepalms): Oh, hi Gaston

Gaston walks over to a small mirror, where he studies himself.

Gaston: You know something, Belle. I love hunting and training but there is something I love even more.

Belle is dumbfounded.

Belle: What is that?

Gaston chuckles lightly before answering.

Gaston: Silly Belle! I like tits and pussy more than trophies. And guess which hot, virgin lady is gonna help me achieve those by offering them to me? Take a guess.

Belle: For the love of God, Gaston! I am really sick and tired of you always clinging to me like that. And no, I'm not gonna let you taste my tits and pussy.

Gaston: Then I guess I have to claim your ass as my own! Bend over and let me shove my c**k between your butt-crack!

Belle: You're such a nasty pervert, Gaston! And that appearance of yours makes you look gay!

**_Scene 7: What is the Master doing? – The Fox and the Hound_**

Outside Amos Slade's house, Chief and Copper are drinking from their water. They enjoy it, until Copper starts sniffing in the air. Chief notices this with curiosity.

Chief: What's the matter, kid? Are you smellin' something?

Copper: Yeah and it smells very weird. I think it comes from the Master's house. What is he doing over there?

Chief: Here, let me try!

Chief starts sniffing in the air and his face becomes filled with wonder.

Chief: Ah, the master's probably cooking something very special, perhaps some meat? He's probably just cooking dinner to himself.

Copper: Dinner? Oh boy, I wanna taste some of the master's dinner.

Chief: I don't think that's a wise decision, Copper. It's human food and for us, that is yucky. You get what I'm saying, right?

Copper: Oh, okay.

As Copper goes back to his barrel, Chief briefly eyes up to the sky. He silently prays.

Chief: Please forgive me, God. I've lied to Copper! I don't wanna explain to him what our master really is doing inside his house.

Inside Amos's house, we see the whole building reeks of crack and booze. There are even signs of drugs and tobacco. But Amos is doing something really nasty. He is actually having sex with two hired hookers in his bedroom.

Hooker 1: OHHHH F*******K!

Hooker 2: That's it wildboy! F**k that bitch's snatch!

Amos: OH YEAH! C'MON! I'M ALMOST THERE! F**K! GIVE ME YOUR PUSSIES AND TITS, AND I'LL GIVE YOU MY SPERM IN RETURN!

_To be continued…._

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**Author's note: That was chapter 10. This time I was doing various sketches from Disney-movies. A Part 2 is probably gonna happen. **

**Movies belongs to Disney. **


	11. Chapter 11

**Author's note: This is yet another sketch inspired by Robot Chicken, the lovable stop-motion show created by Seth Green. Hope you enjoy it.**

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**Chapter 11: The Fifth Turtle**

In the sewers below New York City, we see Master Splinter standing before his beloved students and his adopted sons, the four mutated turtles: Leonardo, Raphael Michelangelo and Donatello. But in this alternative world, there are actually…..five turtles.

Splinter: It's good to see you all, my sons. You are growing each day. The time has…..

Leonardo: What's wrong, Master Splinter?

Splinter: I see that there's only one of you missing. Where is he?

Michelangelo: What? But I'm right here!

Donatello: He wasn't talking about you, Mikey.

Michelangelo: Oh, but I'm the one who usually slacks off most of the time. Who is it then?

Raphael: Who do you think? It's our sorry excuse of a….

All of a sudden, the rat and the four turtles hear someone coming towards them. It is a mutated turtle who looks like his brothers, except the fact that he wears a black mask and is armed with deadly kunais from his chest to his hips. He even wears a chain with him. He walks towards his master and brothers with displeasure. That turtle is the fifth of the brothers: Titian.

Splinter: Titian, my son. So glad you came.

Titian: Hey there, master, bros!

Suddenly, Raphael confronts his brother, much to Titian's confusion.

Titian: How're you doing, Ralph? You don't look so good.

Raphael: Don't give me that bullshit! You always have to ignore Splinter's call, do you!?

Titian: Heh, at least I don't ignore the advice given to me by Splinter, do I?

Raphael becomes angrier, but Leonardo intervenes and stands between his brothers, although Titian isn't showing any signs of noticing him.

Leonardo: Stop this, both of you! Remember, we are family and family never fight each other.

Raphael: Family, my ass! Stay out of this, Leo! I'm about to teach this fool how to show some respect!

Titian: You're the disrespectful one here! Hey Leo, do you mind keeping this dumbass company? I can't stand his ugly face.

Titian then walks beside Raphael, who is really pissed about the comment his brother gave him. He's about to charge at him, only to be restrained by Leonardo. Titian then walks to his sensei, where Michelangelo and Donatello are standing.

Michelangelo: Hey there, Titian! Nice work with ticking Ralph off. Hey, how about you and me do something after this? We could grab some pizza and….

Titian: Oh for f**k sake, Mikey! Don't you have a hobby, other than eating pizza and partying? I mean, just look at you! You sure have gotten fatter since the last time I saw you.

Michelangelo: Man you really know how to let people down, Titian! And besides, we all eat pizza!

Titian: So? Not my problem. Get a hobby, dimwit.

Donatello: How can you say, Mikey doesn't have a hobby? You're no different yourself. All you do is sitting in your room rambling about how miserable your life is!

Titian: Was I talking to you, nerd? Don't think so.

Donatello: Why the hell do you keep calling me nerd!? I don't play video games or anything. I'm only talented in computers, technology and engineering. Learn the freaking difference!

Titian: Yeah, I'm not sure those things are useful as you think it is. I mean, you're like the Aquaman of our group.

Donatello: F**K YOU!

Titian ignores him and walks over to his master, getting tired of just having to deal with his brothers.

Titian: Okay, master. Can you please just tell us what it is and be done with it? I've got a lot of important stuff to do in my room, so I ain't got the whole day…..or night…eh whatever.

Splinter: The reason I have called all of you here is to discuss about your rude and behaviour and foul language, Titian.

Titian: Give me a break! You called us all out here just to talk about me!? I mean, what the hell is there to talk about me!?

Leonardo: That, Titian. And by "that", I mean your attitude and your language.

Titian: Screw you, Leo! You ain't my father!

Leonardo: No, but I am your brother!

Raphael: That's right! And we have some serious issues with you that keep getting on our nerves! That's why we wanna talk about those with Master Splinter present.

Titian smirked at this as he saw Raphael and Leonardo standing near each other.

Titian: Ohhhh….someone's come out of the closet, haven't they? And it's only natural that bitter rivals eventually fall in love with each other.

Both Leonardo and Raphael become pissed at him, while Splinter and Donatello express shock at Titian's language. Michelangelo however, only laugh his butt off.

Michelangelo: Hahahahaha that was a good one, Titian! You're a terrific comedian, you know that? Hahahahahahaha!

Donatello: Cut it out, Mikey! That wasn't even funny!

Michelangelo: Oh really, since when did you get so pro-gay? I mean, don't you wanna bang April?

Donatello: What the…THAT'S NONE OF YOUR BUSINESS!

Splinter approaches Titian and touches his cheeks, much to his surprise.

Splinter: Now tell me, my son. Why do you treat your brothers with such disrespect?

Titian: Well, isn't it obvious? They irritate the hell out of me!

Splinter: But what do they do that makes you feel irritated? Give us an answer.

Titian: Okay, Leo's a lame leader who doesn't have what it takes to be one…..

Leonardo: Who ever said of me being the leader of us? I mean, I might be the most mature of us all, but I'm not that type of leader.

Raphael: Don't push your luck, Splinter jr.

Titian: Then there's Ralph who's always acting like an aggressive asshole all the time…..

Raphael: OH THAT'S IT, YOU'RE DEAD!

Once again, Raphael is restrained by Leonardo, as he tries to walk over to Titian to beat him up.

Titian: Mikey annoys me to death with his catchphrase and immaturity…

Michelangelo: What are you talking about, bro? "COWABUNGA" is like TOTALLY AWESOME!

Titian: And then there's Donald Duck here who just can't quit his encyclopaedic sentences!

Donatello: Donald Duck…really Titian? That sentence of yours sucked balls!

Michelangelo: Well, both ducks and turtles lay eggs, don't they?

Splinter slaps Titian's face and he eyes him with disappointment.

Titian: OUCH! WHAT THE HELL, SENSEI!?

Splinter: Titian. You must open your eyes. When darkness comes, you cannot face it alone. But only with your brothers can you hope of stand against it. That is why you must put aside your prejudices you have for your brothers and work with them. Can't you see it?

Titian then looks at his brothers, who stand there eyeing him as they need him. His eyes widen and he comes to a realization. He walks away from the group but soon turns around to face them. What is he going to say? Will he finally say something positive to his family for once?

Titian: There's only one sentence I can say in return after hearing this, sensei. And all of you might wanna listen as well.

He suddenly points his shelled butt towards them and eyes them angrily.

Titian: Bite my shelly, turtle ass! This is my life and you have no part in it! Hahahahaha hahahahahaha

_To be continued…._

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**Author's note: That was chapter 11. Titian is an original character created by me for this sketch. I have always admired the TMNT and their names. Like the original turtles, he is named after a great Renaissance artist, who is known in English as Titian. His true name is ****Tiziano Vecellio.**

**Robot Chicken belongs to Seth Green**

**Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles belongs to Kevin Eastman and Peter Laird**


	12. Chapter 12

**Author's note: This is yet another sketch inspired by Robot Chicken, the lovable stop-motion show created by Seth Green. Hope you enjoy it.**

* * *

**Chapter 12: Disney Sketches Part 2**

_**Scene 1: What She Really Thinks of You – Lilo &amp; Stitch **_

David Kawena is now speaking to Lilo Pelekai, having just failed to get her sister Nani Pelekai to go out on a date with him. But he becomes really interested when he hears Lilo reveal something from Nani's diary.

Lilo: Don't worry. She likes your butt and fancy hair. I know, I read her diary.

David (strokes his hair): She thinks it's fancy?

Lilo: Yeah, but she wrote more about you in her diary. Would you like to know what she wrote?

David: Ok…..what is it then?

Lilo: From what I gather, she writes that she wishes you could've done something very naughty to her, like groping her tight butt with your own hands.

David's cheeks blushes and his eyes widens by hearing this.

David: Oh…she did?

Lilo: And she constantly gets turned on whenever she catches you checking out her body. In fact, she fantasizes about it almost every night. I can hear it from my bedroom.

David suddenly finds himself very aroused, given what he just hears from Lilo.

David: Woah…..I-I didn't realise it!

Lilo: I remember reading something in her diary and it sounded weird. Wait, that's it! She once wrote that she have dreams where you…ehhhhhhh…..put your dick in her snatch….what does those words even mean?

David freaks out, not wanting to let a young girl such as Lilo know about adult-related stuff, including sex. Stitch only stares at him confused and eventually Lilo does as well. They notice how David tries to hide his crotch.

Lilo: Ummmmm…..are you alright, David?

David: Ah, it's nothing! I'm just getting a little…worn out after the show so…..

Lilo: Are you sure? You seem like someone who needs to go peeing.

Stitch (points his finger towards David's crotch): Eh Tuppa-tuppa?

Lilo stares at his crotch and can see that David has an erection in his shorts. David sees this and freaks out.

David: ARGH! Lilo…it's not what it looks like!

Lilo: What happened to your shorts? Was it something about the "putting your dick in her snatch" sentence I said earlier? Nani really has a way of expressing her feelings and thoughts in that…..

Nani appears in front of her and angrily eyes Lilo, who gives her a smirk in return. The young woman has heard everything she said about her.

Lilo: What's up, Nani?

Nani: Don't give me that look on your face, Lilo! You don't say such things on a restaurant! And you're so finished once we get back home! How dare you read my diary!?

But the woman suddenly snaps once she sees David with his erection, making her sort of disgusted and tries not to look at it. David tries his best to hide it with his hands, but to no avail.

Nani: Oh my God! David, that thing's huge! (She then realises that he has heard everything Lilo told him and changes tone) Look, what she told you I…I didn't really….I mean….

David: Oh no, that's okay. I'm just gonna go masturbate (snaps). No I mean master surfing, yeah that's it! It's my hobby after all.

As David leaves, Nani angrily glares at Lilo, who gives her a thumb-up in return.

Lilo: I think he will make a terrific brother-in-law in my opinion.

Nani: Just shut up.

_**Scene 2: Jafar the Jew – Aladdin **_

Jafar is currently confronting his hated enemy: the street boy Aladdin. The evil sorcerer is holding Princess Jasmine and Genie as hostages and Aladdin must now stop him and save his friends. But as they are about to start fighting, Aladdin stares at his opponent with confusion. Jafar notices this.

Jafar: Why the curious look on your face, street rat?

Aladdin: There's something I've been meaning to ask. Is it just me or do you seem kind of….Jewish in appearance?

Genie, Iago and Abu burst out laughing by hearing this, while Jafar becomes filled with anger. Jasmine and her father however, don't get what Aladdin is saying.

Jasmine: What do you mean by that, Aladdin?

Jafar: ENOUGH! YOU DARE INSULT ME!? I AM THE MOST POWERFUL BEING IN THIS WORLD AND YOU….

Iago: Yeah, yeah, we've all heard this before! You always ramble about power this and power that! You know, now that I think about it, you seem very addicted to power and riches. Hell, even this palace of yours is filled with gold and treasure.

Genie (in his professor disguise): All the more reason to consider this man….a Jew.

Jafar: WHAT DOES THAT HAVE TO DO WITH ME RULING THIS WORLD!? CAN'T YOU FOOLS SEE THAT I AM WEARING ARABIC CLOTHES AND SHOES!? DO I LOOK LIKE A RABBI!?

Aladdin: Maybe you're clothes help you hide it, but that goatee of yours sure looks like that of an Israeli settlement leader. Oh, and by the way, there's a small bag of Jewish gold hanging around your stomach.

Aladdin points his finger towards Jafar's stomach, where he sees a small bag of gold hanging around there. He becomes surprised, but he's still not convinced.

Jafar: It's just a random bag of gold, you worthless twit! Now tell me, what proof do you have that I am Jewish!?

Iago: Oh that's easy. How do you say God when addressing him by his real name?

Jafar: Stupid, little bird! It's spelled Jahve….(snaps)…..

Jasmine (gasps): Oh my goodness. Jafar really is Jewish!

Genie: This is an outrage. The royal vizier to the sultan himself was a Jew! How atrocious! (He eyes the sultan with a stern look) No wonder you were so easily taken advantage of. Jafar must have used his Jewish sorcery to manipulate you!

Sultan: I-I swear, I didn't know of Jafar's origins. I thought he was an Arab just like the rest of us. I didn't expect my vizier to be a Jewish trickster.

Aladdin: Okay, now that we have solved this mystery, how about we finish this fight now? Come on, I'm still gonna save Agrabah and kick your ass even though we've discovered your true identity.

Jafar becomes angry at this and point his finger towards Aladdin and his friends.

Jafar: So what if I am Jewish!? For being "ethnic" Arabs, you sure don't sound like Arabs!

Iago, Genie and Abu become confused at this given all this talk about ethnicity.

Iago: Hey Einstein, we're not humans! We're animals.

Genie: And I'm technically the result of a marriage between a djinn and an albino camel (He notices Iago and Abu staring at him disgusted). What? It's only natural.

Jafar: What I meant to say here, is that, I here none of you saying Allah or anything "Arab-related".

Aladdin: Well, what do you expect? It's Disney after all! Their executives don't give a rat's ass about being loyal to foreign traditions. They only care about riches and celebrities.

Jasmine (groans): Riches and celebrities, huh? I know what that is, considering I am only…"a celebrity by force and convenience".

Jafar: Screw all of this ignorance! I'm done with working with lowlife street rats like you! I'm going home!

_**Scene 3: An Unusual Confession – The Lion King**_

As Simba roars and the rain washes away the flames, the Pride Lands are once again prosperous and healthy, having just gotten rid of Scar and his tyranny. But below the Pride Rock, Simba's two friends: Timon and Pumba are doing something while eyeing their friend standing there proudly.

Pumba (in tears): There he goes…that's our boy!

Timon (smug look): Yeah. I can't believe we actually did this…we helped a lost prince becoming a king.

But soon, Pumba is in for something strange and Timon notices this with a confused look on his face.

Timon: What's wrong, Pumba? Did I say something wrong?

Pumba: Oh, it's not like that! For you see, Timon….I have to tell you something…something which I should've done before we even met Simba.

Timon (widens): Woah, are you serious? Then what is it then? Just be honest with me here. We're friends after all.

Pumba takes a deep breath before speaking up, as Timon watches in curiosity.

Pumba: Timon, we've been good friends for a long time and I really appreciate it. Without you, I would've been lost in this world.

Timon (in tears): That's really touching to hear, Pumba. You've also been a great friend to me.

Pumba: But now I have to reveal you something. And before I tell you, don't laugh or show any bad attitude towards me, okay?

Timon: Certainly! I said be honest with me after all.

Pumba: Then I am here to announce that….(He notices Timon smiling gleefully)..I am….(Still noticing Timon smiling gleefully)…I am willing to let you have the longest and slimiest bugs from now on.

Timon drops his jaw towards the ground, making the warthog confused at his friend's reaction. He doesn't get the merkat's sudden behaviour, for it seems that Timon is somewhat disappointed.

Pumba: What's wrong, Timon? I just said that you could take all the longest and slimiest…

Timon: Here I was hoping you would say something personal and this is what you tell me!? That's freaking buffalocrap!

Pumba: Then what did you expect from me then? You thought I had come out of the closet or…(Gasps in shock)WHAT THE…TIMON ARE YOU…..

Timon nods his head as a yes, much to his friend's shock. It all confirms that Timon is actually…gay.

Pumpa: But Timon, we are different species! How the hell can you expect a meerkat and a warthog to have a romantic relationship between each other!? That's freaking abominable! And by the way, I'm not into men!

Timon (sobs): You're such an unbelievable asshole, Pumba! I was the only one who felt sorry for you and your stinky ass. But you know what…F**K THIS, F**K YOUR FAT ASS AND F**************K YOU!

_**Scene 4: Facilier Knows Best – The Princess and the Frog**_

Somewhere in New Orleans, a scrawny nerd is dragged by the cunning witch doctor Facilier into his house. While in there, the nerd hopes that Facilier can help him with getting popular with the girls.

Facilier: So you're saying that you need…..a little help on your romantic side, yes?

Nerd: That's right. Every time I try asking one girl out, she only smacks my face and tell me to go f**k myself. It's a horrible life!

Facilier: Hmmmm…..I see. Well in that case, I might as well let the cards tell about what you need.

The nerd sees Facilier stocking his cards and becomes interested. He hopes Facilier can help him get better acquainted with the ladies.

Nerd: Oh boy, so many cards!

Facilier: I see your past. And it tells me of a poor, lost soul who can't do anything better other than to speak gibberish, attend Star Trek-conventions and play video games. Now that's amusing.

Nerd: What do you mean by speaking gibberish? I don't understand your point!

Facilier: Let ME do the fortune telling here, okay!? (Clears his throat) Now let's take a look at your future. My, how interesting! It seems to me that you will become a great businessman…..on the same level as…..no surpassing that of Bill Gates and Mark Zuckerberg!

Nerd (smiles gleefully): Oh boy. I love Bill Gates and Mark Zuckerberg are the coolest!

Facilier (frowning): You four-eyed slipper! I just said that you were surpassing them, not….ARGH just forget it! You're dumb as a paper delivery boy. Just take my hand will you?

He reaches out his hand to the nerd, trying to make him agree to his plan. The nerd is filled with happiness and shakes his hand. But the results are disastrous for the nerd. Not only is the nerd transformed as a frog, he also starts playing like a frog and he does that on a busy road.

Nerd: OH MY GOD, THIS IS REAL-LIFE FROGGY! LOOK I JUMP ACROSS THE ROAD TO REACH THE OTHER SIDE AND…..

But unfortunately for him, a truck managed to squish him to bits and this ends the game.

But we see Facilier leaning onto a wall sighing in disappointment

Facilier: I gotta stop exploiting such no-good losers. I rather trick a hard-working lady or a dumbass of a prince.

_**Scene 5: The Rocket – Mulan**_

Inside the wagon that carries many fireworks for the Chinese army to be used, the red dragon named Mushu is sitting there alongside his cricket sidekick Cri-Kee. As the Chinese army is moving up towards the mountains to confront Shan Yu and his Hun army, the two companions of Fa Mulan relaxes, even though there are dozens of fireworks inside.

Mushu: Now this is gonna be AWESOME! I can't wait till we meet those Huns! I wanna see Mulan beat them to a pulp.

Cri-Kee however shows his disapproval of Mushu's overconfidence, something the dragon notices.

Mushu: Hey what's wrong with you, mah lucky homie? That's right! Since you're with me, you're mah lucky homie. So what's the problem here, dawg?

Cri-Kee only looks towards another direction, pretending that he's not interested in Mushu, much to the dragon's irritation.

Mushu (offended): Are you sayin' that I'm a bad influence on Mulan!? Man f**k you! I have done everything in mah power to make sure she stays alive while undercover! Hell, I even had to bite a fat man's ass and dayum that was horrible! What have you done since we joined the army!? Nothin', only portrayin' yourself as this movie's merchandise mascot!

Cri-Kee finally turns his attention towards Mushu with a disapproving glance on his face. It's obvious that he did not take the dragon's words kindly. Mushu fixes a similar glance on his face. But the small cricket only gives him a thumb-down, thus infuriating Mushu.

Mushu: Now that does it! I'm gonna teach you a lesson about how to show some respect! So prepare to get your ass roasted, you little turd!

The dragon blows fire towards Cri-Kee, only for the cricket to avoid it by jumping. However, there's a rocket lying behind Cri-Kee and Mushu accidentally manages to ignite it. This makes both friends freaking out.

Mushu: OHH DAYUM! (Eyes Cri-Kee) DON'T JUST STAND THERE LIKE A FOOL, PUT IT OUT!

Cri-Kee tries his best to put out the ignition, but it is too hot for the cricket. This only complicates the situation.

Mushu: HURRY THE F**K UP! PUT OUT THE FIRE! AIN'T YOU SUPPOSED TO BE A LUCKY CHARM!?

But they are too late, as the rocket managed to shot out of the cart and high up in the air. The rest you know, as Mushu tries to pin the blame on Cri-Kee, but to no avail.

_**Scene 6: Trigger &amp; Nutsy – Robin Hood**_

In the town of Nottingham in England, where the people are currently ruled by the spoiled and selfish Prince John, the so-called Sherriff of Nottingham is on his daily routine of collecting taxes by the people of England. The taxes are of course going to Prince John, who only wants the wealth by himself.

As he walks around the streets (accompanied by his dim-witted henchmen Trigger and Nutsy), the wolf begins to sing a typical country song in his Redneck-accent.

Sherrif (sings): Every town has its taxes too and the taxes is due do-do do-do(Stops singing once he sees something) Well, lookie there, boys! Friar Tuck the old do-gooder doing somethin' good as always.

They see the badger dressed in a monk's clothes exiting a house and wanders off to somewhere. The sheriff and his henchmen become curious. But Tuck sees them and flips them off, much to their surprises. The monk doesn't like being followed.

Tuck: Quit following me, you damned scoundrels! You can give this to Prince John: STOP SUCKING YOUR THUMB AND START SUCKING YOUR OWN DICK!

The monk then takes off in a fast pace, while the sheriff and his henchmen only stand still. They didn't know what just happened.

Sheriff: Now that wasn't very nice. Especially since Tuck always claims to do somethin' good.

Trigger: Where is he off to, sheriff? He's definitely up to somethin' good.

Sheriff (grimaces) I just said that, ya bird-brain! Try come up with a better sentence!

Trigger: But I'm just a cheap crossbowman-for-hire, sheriff. I don't know any better.

The sheriff rolls his eyes and gives up on educating Trigger, given his cluelessness and his cheap attitude. But he's interrupted in his thoughts when Nutsy pokes him.

Nutsy: Hey sheriff. Don't you reckon we go follow that old do-gooder? I say we do that and bust him.

Sherrif (smiles) Now that's more like it, Nutsy. You ain't as dumb as I thought you were.

Nusty (laughs) Hyukk, hyukk! I love being dumb!

Sheriff grimaces once again in disappointment, considering Nusty's stupidity.

Sheriff: I really should stop hiring cheap mercenaries. They are as useful as a pair of inbred half-wits.

But let's see where Friar Tuck is heading towards. He's heading for a house and he knocks on the door. The door opens and a prostitute stands in the opening with a seductive look on her face. Tuck grins while holding a bag of gold in his right palm.

Tuck: What can I say? I am a monk and a monk does the Father a good thing for everyone, even the prostitutes.

_To be continued…._

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**Author's note: That was part 2 of the Disney sketches. If some of you found the content offensive then please excuse me. It is Robot Chicken after all.**

**Characters belong to Disney**


	13. Chapter 13

**Author's note: This is yet another sketch inspired by Robot Chicken, the lovable stop-motion show created by Seth Green. Hope you enjoy it.**

* * *

**Chapter 13: Judge Judy: Not True Detectives **

You are about to enter the courtroom of Judge Judith Shiendlin. The people are real. The cases are real. The rulings are final. This is Judge Judy. Tonight we have a very special case. It's a case between two former partners, who had both happy times and crappy times together. So now let us see the fight between true detectives.

We found ourselves in the courtroom where the case commences and the audience chats with each other, as they can't believe who the plaintiff and defendant are.

Byrd: All parties in the matter of Hart vs Cohle! Step forward, please!

Martin "Marty" Hart is suing his former colleague and partner Rustin "Rust" Cohle for filing a false arrest order against him, after an incident in a bar that Rust was working at. Rust says: Marty wreaked havoc inside the bar, leaving it completely vandalized.

Judge Judy arrives in the courtroom and Officer Byrd tells everyone to rise up and be quiet. He hands something to the judge, who was taken her seat.

Byrd: This case is number 556 on the calendar in the matter: Hart vs Cohle.

Judy: Thank you.

Byrd: You're welcome. (Eyes the audience) Parties have been sworn in. You may be seated. Folks have a seat.

The audience takes their seats. The plaintiff is Martin "Marty" Hart. Sitting by his side is his ex-wife Margaret "Maggie" Hart and the two daughters they have together: Audrey and Maisie. The defendant is Rustin "Rust" Cohle. Sitting by his side is the owner of the bar where he works: Robert Doumain.

Judy: Mr. Hart, is this woman your ex-wife?

Marty: Yes ma'am.

Judy: (Faces Maggie) Stand up, please.

Maggie does as she tells him to and stands beside her ex-husband. The judge then focuses her attention on the defendant.

Judy: Mr. Cohle, who's this silent man you've brought along with you?

Rust: He's the owner of the bar I'm working at.

Judy: What? I beg your pardon, but could you please speak louder. I can't understand your mumbling.

Rust: (With a louder voice) He is the owner of the bar I'm working at.

Judy (Facing Robert) Stand up, please.

Robert does that, but he doesn't say a word not make a sound as he stands beside Rust. He only stares at her with his silent look on his face.

Judy: Okay, the reason I've brought those two to stand beside you gentlemen is simple. Both of them witnessed the incident which this case is about. (Faces Marty) Now Mr. Hart the defendant is a former colleague and partner of yours in…..what kind of job?

Marty: Homicide detectives in the Louisiana State Police.

Judy: Okay, so you were partners. But there was a feud between the two of you that eventually made you quit your job and you both went separate ways. I don't know why you did that, but it's of little relevance to me in this case. Mr. Cohle, where do you work now?

Rust: I'm a bartender.

Judy: And what about you, Mr. Hart?

Marty: I stayed in Louisiana Police State four years after our breakup, but after that, I've been heading my own private investigation firm: Hart Investigative Solutions.

Judy: But you two eventually reconsolidated with one another, which led to you solving a mystery together, correct?

Marty and Rust: Yes ma'am!

Judy: So now I will begin the case. Mr. Hart sometime after you and Mr. Cohle had solved this mystery and recovered your injuries, you fell into depression, considering that you felt lonely without your daughters, who were forbidden to visit you given that you lost custody of them.

Marty: Correct.

Judy: Your old partner stepped in to help you mend your relationship with your ex-wife and he offered you and your ex-wife to come to the bar he was working at to have a dialogue, hoping that you and she could get better with each other and eventually having your daughters come visit. (Faces Maggie) Now Mrs. Hart, did you agree to this?

Maggie: Yes, your honor.

Judy: Very well, and you two eventually did that. You arrived at the bar, hung out while catching up and had a serious discussion about your daughters. But when it was midnight, thing started to get ugly between you and Mr. Cohle, and it ended up him calling the police and having you arrested, and you wanna be compensated for your days spent in jail, as well as the charges he filed against you, is that true, sir?

Marty: Yes ma'am.

Judy (Faces Rust): Mr. Cohle acknowledges that he did in fact call the police on you, but he says that during midnight, you were extremely drunk and started badmouthing customers, acting aggressively and even trashed the bar and it's interior. So he had a right to have you arrested. That is your defense.

Rust: Yes, your honor.

Judy: Okay, now in which date did this incident happen, Mr. Hart?

Marty: It was the 18th of august 2013.

Judy: Was this bar located in the same place as where you lived?

Marty: Correct.

Judy: And which place and state do you live in?

Marty: Vermillion Parish, Louisiana.

Judy: You also live there, Mr. Cohle?

Rust: Yeah, but both mah house and the bar is located outside town. It's somewhere in the bayou, where the main road also passes by.

Judy: (Eyes him disapprovingly) You know, I would really appreciate if you stopped speaking like a stoner and spoke clearly like a normal person, Mrs. Cohle.

The entire audience laughs in the background by hearing this. But Rust doesn't seem to be embarrassed, as he only stands still in silence. The judge sighs in irritation before proceeding.

Judy: What is the name of this bar you're working at?

Rust: Robert's Domain. But I'm only the bartender. I ain't the owner of the place. (Points to Robert) Mah witness owns it.

Judy: Can you tell me your name, sir?

Robert:…..

Judy: (Looks offended) Hello? I just asked if you could tell me your name!

Robert:… …

The entire audience laughs at this, as Robert doesn't say a word to tell her his name. The Judge sees Rust raising his hand in the air and faces him with a sigh.

Judy: Mr. Cohle, Who is this man? And why does he not respond to my question?

Rust: His name's Robert Doumain. I beg your pardon, but he's been though some terrible experience, ma'am. He lost his son in 85, so he's been like this since then. But he witnessed this altercation that happened in the bar and…..

Judy: (dumbfounded) But how do you expect him to help you win this case, when he cannot even say his name to me? Do you honestly expect me to put my trust in a….walking doormat!?

The audience laughs again, loudly this time. Even Officer Byrd is cracking up and so are Marty's daughters. But both the plaintiff and defendant remain silent, not even changing as much as an expression on their faces. But eventually the laughing stops and Judy faces Marty and Maggie.

Judy: Just tell me how this incident took shape. And remember not to lose track of the matter.

Marty: Well your honor, basically we…..

Judy: Don't say the word basically. It's only a filler word. I only want you to tell me how this incident took shape.

Marty: Right, me and Maggie arrived at the bar around 9 am in the evening. We had spoken with Rust on the phone earlier, so we had agreed on me and Maggie having a talk over our daughters at the bar, and Rust was to act as our mediator, along with Robert.

Judy: Okay. So, that means you were sitting by the bar's counter? He's the bartender, so he can't leave his post to sit with you at another table.

Marty: Yes. But frankly, your honor, there weren't that many customers at the time we arrived nor at midnight.

Rust shakes his head as a no to what Marty alleges.

Judy: Anyway, while you were having this discussion with your wife, you were also drinking at the same time. And that's an easy mistake to make if you are in a bar and you have a long discussion. You will get thirsty. (Eyes Maggie) Mrs. Hart, did you drink?

Maggie: Yes, I only drank a small bottle of beer, before resorting to drinking water.

Judy: (Faces Rust) Is that true, Mr. Cohle?

Rust: Yeah. She drank water for the rest of the night, as she was gonna drive back to her place once the discussion was over.

Judy: Did you drink, Mr. Hart?

Marty: Yes. But I only took two small glasses of whiskey, as I was also gonna drive back home once this was over.

Judy: (Faces Rust) Did he drink just two glasses of whiskey, sir?

Rust: That's not true, your honor. He's lyin'.

Judy: How many glasses did he drink?

Rust: He actually drank five glasses of whiskey plus a small bottle of vodka.

The audience gasps in shock, but Marty looks at Rust with his angered expression on his face. He tries to deny the allegations by shaking his head, but to no avail, as he is given a shocking glance by Judy.

Marty: Rust ain't tellin' you the truth, ma'am. He was also drinkin' while Maggie and I had this discussion about…

Judy: What proof do you have that he was drinking? He was working as that time, so he can't just get drunk on work. He's actually supposed to make his customers drunk.

The audience laughs again, as they understood what the judge was saying, but the laughing was only short.

Judy: Mrs. Hart, you who drank little saw that Mr. Cohle was not drinking, correct?

Maggie: Yes ma'am. However, Robert was actually having a glass of whiskey just as Marty did and…

Judy: Of course he did! Because he didn't have anything better to do than to sit and drink, as he couldn't even say a word of advice to you, isn't that right, Mr. Doumain?

Robert:…..

The entire audience laughs again, and Byrd joins in, causing Judy to become extremely pissed about this case.

Judy: Of course, why did I even ask you? You can sit down. I've no need for you.

Robert does as she tells him to, without making a sound.

Judy: (Looks at Maggie) It looks like I'm gonna have to rely on you to tell me about this incident, considering that your ex-husband was drunk and that Mr. Cohle's witness is unreliable in court. (sees Rust raising his hand) What?

Rust: Your honor, I've brought with me a DVD that shows us the recordings of the camera stationed above the bar's counter. We will see how Marty started acting like all stupid, as well as how things were at midnight.

Judy: I would like to see it, please.

Rust hands the CD to Byrd who places it in the DVD player. The judge focuses her attention on the screen. The screen starts showing the bartender's counter, where Marty and Maggie is sitting on some stools with Robert sitting beside Maggie and a woman sitting beside Marty. The recording shows Marty and Maggie arguing with each other face to face. Rust is standing behind the counter trying to calm them down. But everything changes once Marty throws up on Maggie and she starts screaming with disgust. He then turns around and sees the woman, and tries to flirt with her, much to her disgust. Before they know it, a man suddenly approaches Marty and pushes him away, only for Marty to retaliate by grabbing an empty bottle and slamming it on the man's face. Byrd is told by the judge to stop the video, something he does without hesitation.

Judy: Oh my God, this is just horrifying to watch. (Looks at Maggie) Tell me something Madame, why are you standing on his fool's side in this court, when he screamed at you and threw up on you at the bar that night!?

Maggie lowers her head in shame and is about to burst into tears, but something tells her not to do that.

Maggie: It's difficult to answer, your honor. I know that you're right but I am at loss here!

She begins sobbing and Byrd hands her a napkin for her to dry her tears. Both Marty and Rust are only facing their tables as they try not to look at Maggie being in such a pain. But Judy is being sympathetic with her.

Judy: I am not trying to make a fool out of you, Mrs. Hart. You seem like an intelligent woman, and a terrific mother to those lovely girls you have. (Fixes a stern look on Marty) But your ex-husband on the other hand, has some issues he really could address. Not only did you throw up on her, sir. But you also touched a woman inappropriately and assaulted a fellow customer with an empty bottle! What is wrong with you!?

Marty is not looking up, keeps lowering his head in shame.

Judy: That man who was assaulted by an empty bottle, was he a customer at the bar, Mr. Cohle?

Rust: Yes ma'am. That man was that lady's husband, and he had just been on a toilet visit when Marty started touching his wife inappropriately.

Judy: Yes I can see that. And he must've received serious injuries because of that. (Faces Marty) Mr. Hart, do you have anything to say, not that you have any excuses to make.

Marty faces her and holds up a paper.

Marty: Your honor, I've got the telephone numbers of two detectives who investigated this incident. Their names are Thomas Papania and Maynard Gilbough, and they were the ones to arrive at the scene.

Judy: Wait a minute! Don't any of you have a police report?

Marty and Rust: No ma'am!

Judy: (Faces Rust) What do you mean by not having a police report!? You called them to the bar to have Mr. Hart arrested, didn't you!?

Rust: Yes I did. But I felt like it wasn't necessary to file a report to the police, as I only called them to take Marty away from the bar. If you continue the video, you will watch how he completely vandalized the interior.

Judy: That won't be necessary. I would like to look at this paper of yours, Mr. Hart.

Marty hands it over to Byrd, who gives it to the judge, who studies it with her glasses. After a couple of seconds, she faces both Marty and Rust with serious eyes.

Judy: Here's what's gonna happen, gentlemen! Since neither of you have a police report nor chose to file one, I'm gonna have to find out information myself. So I'll be having a chat with these two detectives on the phone. (Looks at Byrd) Byrd, would you be a dear and make sure that these two dimwits stay silent and never tries anything stupid?

Byrd: With pleasure, ma'am.

The audience laughs as Judy walks off her seat and enters her office where she has a telephone. She begins speaking with the detectives. Meanwhile the courtroom is silent, with Maggie having just managed to calm down. But she is feeling tired, something Byrd notes by giving her a glass of water.

Maggie: Thank you kindly.

But both Marty and Rust are staring at each other, as they are having a staring contest, something Byrd and the audience notes. But they don't bother interrupting the former partners in their staring contest, as they only do that and don't say as much as a word.

Rust: (thinking) What the hell did you just do, Marty? Why did you involve those two into this? Are you trying to make a complete ass of yourself?

Marty: (thinking) This is my trump card. I will skullf**k you and drag you along with me in this battle, Rust. Consider this a payback for putting me in jail.

Maggie: (thinking) This is the worst day of my life! What was I thinking when I signing up for his…show!?

Robert: (thinking) When is this case gonna be over!? I am sick and tired of standing in this…..sh*thole!?

Finally, the judge exits her room and returns to her seat. Marty and Rust ceases their staring contest and focuses their gazes on the presiding judge, who is facing both of them with strong disapproval.

Judy: Those two gentlemen I just spoke with on the phone sounded very reasonable. And after being given more details of each one of you, all I can say is….YOU ARE BOTH A COUPLE OF IDIOTS!

The audience laughs again, with Byrd joining them.

Judy: (Faces Rust) Let me start with you, Mr. Cohle. This bar that you and that deaf man are working on was operated illegally! They told me that you had been using it as a place for smuggling weapons and hiding heroin!

The audience gasps at what they hear, although both Rust and Robert don't seem to give much thought about this.

Judy: More importantly, that explains why Robert's Domain was closed, because the police you had called managed to discover the weapons and heroin you had in it. But after the police arrived, you and Mr. Doumain fled the scene letting Mr. Hart taking the blame. So at this rate, you've been unemployed and avoided prosecution.

Rust: I don't know what those detectives told you, but I….

Judy: Don't tell me anything, they have interviewed your story up until now, when you came into this court! (Faces Marty) And don't think that you're the victim of this, sir. Because from what the detectives told me, you were aware of the bar being used as a place for smuggling, even prior to this incident! And as an investigator, you chose not to report of that bar operating illegally to the State Police.

Marty faces the table, while Maggie begins to sob again, although she quickly dries her tears away.

Judy: You know, I can ask both of you gentlemen many questions that tends to be really disturbing for people to hear. But I have chosen not to, for Mrs. Hart's sake. She's the victim here, not any of you. (Eyes Robert) And that includes you as well, sir!

Robert:….

Judy: Anyway, I am dismissing your lawsuit, Mr. Hart. And that's not just because of your inappropriate behavior in front of your wife and the other customers, but also the fact that you knew that the bar was operating illegally. Do you understand me, sir!?

Marty: Yes ma'am.

Judy: And you Mr. Cohle have a lot to answer for. You fled the scene and avoided prosecution for a long time. It was Mr. Hart who testified before a court in Louisiana that you had been operating an illegal business. But you had already fled Lousiana before the police raided your shack. The detectives told me that you'd been up in Alaska to lay low.

The audience laughs again, but both men are still unfazed.

Judy: I have nothing to say to you gentlemen. If this case has already been settled, then why bother coming to me? It makes no sense at all! The one place you should seek help is not here in my courtroom. That would be either in rehab or in prison. Goodbye, not-so-true detectives!

The case ends with both parties leaving the courtroom, while the audience claps their hands for Judy's efforts to solve this case, or to uncover it.

_To be continued…._

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**Author's note: That was the second Judge Judy sketch with characters from the first season of True Detective. A little bit more serious than the last one with Family Guy and American Dad. Believe me, I have seen both seasons of True Detective and I know how things turn out. But I just wanted to poke fun at the relationship between Marty and Rust.**

**True Detective belongs to Nic Pizzolatto.**


	14. Chapter 14

**Author's note: This is yet another sketch inspired by Robot Chicken, the lovable stop-motion show created by Seth Green. Hope you enjoy it.**

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**Chapter 14: Anime Sketches **

_**Scene 1: The Son Family Celebrates Christmas – Dragon Ball**_

Its Christmas time on Planet Earth and everyone is getting ready to celebrate the best time of the year, including the legendary fighter: Son Goku and his family of three. He, his wife Chi-Chi and their sons Son Gohan and Son Goten are sitting in the living room and watch all the decoration they have put on. Everyone is happy, including Goku, even though he doesn't know much about Christmas.

Chi-Chi: This feels so great! It's just us sitting here with no one to bother us on Christmas Eve! Wouldn't you agree, Goku?

Goku: I agree with you on that one, Chi-Chi. But I wonder if Santa Clause will be coming over to our house, especially since what happened last time.

Chi-Chi (confused): Huh? What do you mean by that?

Goten: Yeah dad. Why wouldn't Santa come over to visit us?

But Gohan suddenly steps in and tries to reassure his mother and younger brother.

Gohan: Oh it's nothing! Dad's only referencing something that happened between Santa and Cell. You see, Cell stole his sleigh and reindeers!

Both Chi-Chi and Goten raise eyebrows at this. Goku only smiles, not knowing what he just said which caused Gohan to behave this way.

Chi-Chi: But weren't Cell defeated by you at that time?

Gohan snaps in awkward by hearing this. He sweats as he tries to come up with something

Gohan: Yeah, but Cell had managed to break free from Hell. You get it? Cell broke free from Hell! (Begins laughing, but his family doesn't get his joke). Anyway, he was doing mean things to Santa, so we taught him a lesson.

Chi-Chi (confused): Okaaaaaaaay…..

Goku: Silly Gohan, you got the story wrong! Cell wasn't the bad guy in that situation. It was Mrs. Santa. But she was trying to frame Composite Santa for the crime.

Gohan snaps by hearing this, while Chi-Chi and Goten faces Goku with interest. Goten is especially interested in this.

Goten: But dad, why would Mrs. Santa do something bad? Was she written on Santa's naughty list?

Goku: Yeah, you could say so. Anyway, Mrs. Santa turned into a deadly monster with tentacles so me and Gohan had to defeat her with the assistance of Rudolph. And we ended up saving Earth by killing Mrs. Santa with a combination of our Kamehamehas and Rudolph's laser from his red nose. But Santa Clause was not very pleased with our handling of the situation, so he decided not to bring presents to Japan ever again.

Both Chi-Chi and Goten faces him with disbelief, while Gohan facepalms by seeing his father telling them the truth in such a dim-witted manner. Goten cries hysterically, given that Santa won't be coming over to them for Christmas.

Goten (sniffs): No more presents…we are on Santa's naughty list forever!

Chi-Chi (disappointed): You always have to screw things up, don't you? Why in the world am I still married to you?

Goku (confused): Uhhhh, isn't because you fell in love with me? Or is it because that all Earthlings are required to marry someone to preserve their race?

But the family is interrupted by a window shattering as a result of someone throwing a brick into the living room. Goku immediately grabs the brick and there is a piece of paper suck on it. The description is read like this: I HOPE YOU'RE HAVING YOURSELVES A MERRY F**KING CHRISTMAS. I AM STILL ON MEDICINE FOR DEPRESSION AND PARANOIA. HOPE YOU ALL END UP GETTING KILLED LIKE WHAT YOU DID TO MY WIFE.

They all head to the shattered window and can see Santa Clause riding on his sleigh up in the air. He gives the Son family the middle finger at them. He is furious and angry.

Santa: Consider this the only present you get from me every year from now on, assholes!

_**Scene 2: Revy Gets Scolded – Black Lagoon**_

In the city of Roanapur we see Rock and Revy in the red car. And of course, Rock is the one driving. They are about to go on a badass mission for their clients. But on the way, the two teammates have a conversation on the way.

Rock: So this is it! We're on the road again, doing our daily business which involves shooting, smuggling and all kinds of messed up things. But that doesn't matter to us anyway.

Revy (unenthusiastic): Yeah, you could say so.

Rock: Hey Revy! Do you think that I can impress Dutch and the others with the talents I possess, even though I'm not much of a fighter or a shooter? I will definitely try my best and prove that the Lagoon Company can have its benefits with me on the board.

Revy: Why are you so damn optimistic?

Rock: Why are you so damn miserable?

Revy (irritated): Don't push your luck, smartass! I asked you first! So tell me, why you're acting like everything's all simple and easy!?

The black-haired man sighs in defeat, realizing that he must answer her.

Rock: Well, I am trying to fit in. I mean, Roanapur is completely different from Tokyo, so it's time that I begin to learn from coming out of the comfort zone, if you know what I'm saying.

But Revy rolls her eyes and stares out the window, as she is not amused by Rock's answer.

Revy: Heh, well you still have a long way to go before accepting this hellhole as your home, Rock. If you had been in my shoes, things might've been easier for you. Cause I've experienced the worst shit you can ever imagine, don't forget that.

Rock (irritated): There you go again! Always ramble about how pathetic and shitty your life has been! Poor Revy, who grew up in the streets of Chinatown to an abusive dad! Poor Revy, who got arrested, beaten and raped by a corrupt police officer! Poor Revy, who shot his dad in cold blood after he only asked her for a beer! Poor Revy, who ended up losing her faith in God because she considered herself a ghetto rat! Seriously, don't you get tired of drifting in the past? I mean, that shit is gonna kill you someday and it won't look pretty, just saying.

Revy stares at him with widened eyes, considering that she heard everything he said about her. She is surprised by Rock's own words and is even too surprised to even reach for her handguns.

Revy (surprised): Hey Rock…who the f**k taught you pedagogy!?

Rock (confused): What are you talking about? I only expressed my frustration with you whining about your past. I sure hope it got into your head, Revy.

Revy: Got into my head? Dumbass! The only thing that can get INTO my head is a bullet! Get THAT through your thick skull!

Rock (sighs): Yeah, keep clouding yourself with that stupid logic of yours, because I'm just a clueless dimwit, and by that I mean sarcastically.

Revy: Tch, whatever you say, Mr. Psychiatrist.

_**Scene 3: Out of Ideas – Sgt. Frog**_

Inside the Hinata household, the brave members of the Keroro Platoon are having a secret meeting with Keroro standing in the middle. His comrades watch him with curiosity. What is this meeting about?

Keroro: My fellow warriors of Planet Keron! It is with great honor that I reveal to you our masterplan for world domination over Planet Earth!

Giroro: But we fail each time because you would rather read mangas and making plastic Gundam models than carrying out our orders.

Keroro: Oh quit your whining, Giroro! This time, I have made sure that we WILL succeed with our mission. Just look at this screen right here!

The green frog turns on the television and the screen shows them videos of North Korea's flag. But it also shows many other things, like its military, its propaganda choir, factories and even Kim Jong-un himself as he waves from his place along with other members of the country's Communist Party. The frogs have all different reactions to what they are seeing.

Tamama: Wow, this country must be lucky to have such advanced military. Did you see how joyful the citizens were, sir?

Keroro: Absolutely!

Giroro: But that man dressed in black almost looked like he had serious obesity. I'm surprised that he still lives and breathes.

Dororo: Sir, maybe we can learn something from this Democratic People's Republic of North Korea. Perhaps we should extend an invitation to Kim Jong-un and his Communist Party.

Keroro: Now that's not a bad idea…ehhhhhh….ehhhhhhhh…..what's your name again?

Dororo (offended): It's me, Dororo! I'm the Lance Corporal of the Keroro Platon! Don't you recognize me, sir!?

Keroro: Lance Corporal? When did the Keroro Platoon ever have one?

The blue ninja-like frog becomes incredible sad and runs away while crying, much to everyone's confusion and wonder. But they all refocus on what they just talked about.

Keroro: Anyway, Kululu. Do us a favor and send a message to North Korea and its leader, if you please.

Kululu (laughs): Why would I take orders from someone whose rank is lower than me? And besides, it is impossible for Kim Jong-un to come over to Japan. North Korea is under sanctions by the UN due to breach of nuclear agreements.

Keroro: Who cares about what the Union of Neoliberals says!? We aren't humans, so we don't need to follow its stinking rules!

Kululu: Actually, it is called the United Nations, "sir".

Keroro (sighs): Whatever, who gives a crap!? But screw that, we have a potential ally we must befriend. Send out an invitation to Kim Jong-un!

Tamama: But sir, if North Koreans were to come here, the Japanese authorities would just arrest them. Why can't we just visit North Korea ourselves?

Keroro: Actually Tamama…we can't.

His comrades are surprised by his words and they really want to know why.

Giroro: And why is that?

Keroro: It's because….NORTH KOREA HAS NOTHING FUN TO OFFER ME WHILE WE'RE INSIDE THAT COUNTRY! THEY DON'T EVEN HAVE MANGAS OR GUNDAM MODELS!

Giroro: You gotta be kidding me! You don't wanna go there just because they don't have those lame-ass things in the country!? That's like saying you don't wanna go to Antarctica because there are no people there we can conquer!

Tamama: Is North Korea really that isolated?

Kululu: Well what do you expect? They don't call it the Hermit Kingdom for nothing.

_**Scene 4: Voluptuous Fairies– Fairy Tail**_

In a land far, far away, lies the Kingdom of Fiore. It's a kingdom filled with magic. Within its area lies the city of Magnolia, home to one of the kingdom's most famous and strongest wizard guilds: Fairy Tail.

Inside the guild's headquarters, we look at the young wizard Natsu Dragneel and his Exceed companion Happy. They are hanging out at the bar along with Natsu's rival: Gray Fullbuster, as well as other guildmates: Elfman Strauss, Laxus Dreyar and Gajeel Redfox. They look around to see the joyful mood in their guild while having a couple of drinks.

Natsu: Well, It's good to be a part of Fairy Tail! I mean, what kind of idiot would've rejected such offer?

Happy: Aye!

Gray: I'm not sure. But there's something which has been bugging me for the last few years. It actually has something to do with Fairy Tail.

Everyone has their eyes on him questionably.

Elfman: And what would that be?

Gray: Have you guys noticed that the majority of girls in our guild are built voluptuously?

Hearing this made them all snap, expect for Natsu and Happy, who only stared at him with raised eyebrows. But the others were gasping loudly, not expecting something as this to come out from Gray's mouth.

Gajeel: Man…..what are you saying!?

Laxus: You're telling us that most women here have sexually, attractive bodies!? Are you sick or something!?

Gray: Oh come on, guys! Just admit it! Our series is considered too fan-service friendly because of the girls and their sex appeal! Hey Natsu, you agree on this, don't you?

The pink-haired man puts his finger underneath his mouth while thinking, trying to come up with an answer to Gray's question.

Natsu: I'm not sure if I understood your question. But I do admit that Lucy, Cana, Erza, Mirajane, Lisanna and Juvia all have big breasts, wide hips and round bottoms. I wonder why.

Happy (smiling): Maybe it's because those girls are drinking too much milk. But Cana is drinking too much beer, so she must be an exception.

Laxus, Elfman, Gray and Gajeel stare at them with outraged looks, especially Elfman, considering that Natsu was mentioning his sisters.

Elfman: Hold on just a damn minute! There is no way that my sisters have those types of body weight. I am their brother and I have been with them all my life. Therefore, I can verify that fact! And frankly, how can you guys talk about something as perverted as that? Aren't' you REAL men!?

Laxus (looks at Elfman annoyingly): Oh really? I have begun noticing that you have hots for Evergreen and her body.

Elfman (outraged): Shut up, Laxus! You don't know anything about me!

Laxus: There's no point in denying it. Evergreen said it to me herself. You know, she tells me that you get turned on whenever she wears one of her bikinis.

The muscular, white-haired man looks away, trying his best to hide his blushing cheeks. Unfortunately, he catches a glimpse of Evergreen, who winks at him sexily in return. Seeing this makes him more uncomfortable and he begins holding his crotch area. Within seconds he rises up from his seat and runs away.

Elfman: I'M A REAL MAAAAAAAAN!

Gray (smirks): Heh, idiot.

Gajeel: But look, about what you two were saying, not every girl in our guild is built voluptuously. I mean, look at Wendy. She's just a kid.

Natsu (looks at Gajeel): And we have also Levy. Her legs seem fine, but she has a flat chest compared to the others.

Happy: Aye!

Hearing this makes Gajeel snap in anger and embarrassment. And before he knows it, he starts throwing a hissy fit towards Natsu.

Gajeel: Oh yeah! Well at least Levy doesn't look like some sex-crazed bitch like the others in this guild!

But he stops as he and the others notices their fellow guild mates staring at them with confused looks. The black-haired man immediately sits down, trying his best to pretend that he did nothing just now.

But the majority of the girls could hear what they were talking about, including Lucy and the other "voluptuous girls".

Lucy: Hey Natsu, Gray, what the heck are you guys talking about?

Erza (faces them sternly): We couldn't help but to overhear you talk about sex. Care to explain what specifically you were talking about?

Juvia: Yeah, tell us Master Gray!

Gray, Lexus and Gajeel sweats as they feel uneasy about telling them. But Gray tries to play it cool by changing the subject.

Gray (laughs): You girls got the wrong idea. We didn't talk about sex, right guys?

Laxus: Uhhh…..yeah.

Gajeel: He speaks the truth.

Natsu: We were actually talking about how come you girls have large breasts, wide hips and round bottoms. And the fact that you all are built voluptuously.

Happy: Aye!

Gray, Laxus and Gajeel snap at Natsu angrily, not believing how stupid he was. But that was not the worst part. The boys could see all the girls having different reactions to what Natsu just told them. Lucy, Juvia and Lisanna were blushing deeply, as they couldn't believe that Natsu and Gray were talking about their bodies. But Erza, Cana and Mirajane had more angry reactions.

Erza (cracking her knuckles): You boys are so screwed!

Cana: You think it's okay for you to just sit here and talk about our bodies!? You disgusting pigs!

Mirajane (angry): I am never speaking to any of you boys ever again!

But the three girls decide to kick the boys, who actually try to run away, not wanting to cause damage to the guild hall.

But while watching Erza, Cana and Mirajane chasing the boys, Lucy, Lisanna and Juvia began to reflect on what they had just been told by Natsu. You see, Lucy and Lisanna have feelings for Natsu, while Juvia has feelings for Gray. While they are blushing they smile with satisfaction.

All three of them together (thinking): He finds me sexually attractive! I must better show off my body more.

_**Scene 5: The Saanins – Naruto **_

In the classroom at the Ninja Academy, Iruka Umino is educating Konohamaru Sarutobi and his class. But he is joined by Team 7 consisting of Naruto, Sakura and Sai. In addition to that, Captain Yamato is also joining. Apparently, Iruka wants to show his class something and he wants Team 7's assistance to do so.

Iruka: Okay students. Today we are gonna talk about the one of the Hidden Leaf Village's most infamous teams: Team Hiruzen. But the entire world knows them better as the Saanin. Joining us today is Team 7 plus Captain Yamato. And as you all may know, Naruto and Sakura are both apprentices to two members of the Saanin. So give them a warm welcome.

All the students give Team 7 applause as they all step forward to introduce themselves to the students.

Naruto: Hello everyone! Naruto Uzumaki here and as Iruka-sensei told you, I'm a student under Jiraya, also known as the Toad Sage. And let me tell you, he is a wonderful teacher.

Konohamaru: But isn't Jiraya some kind of pervert? I mean, he spends his time peeking into women while they're in the hot springs.

Everyone gasps in shock at this, while Naruto only sweats. Sakura faces her blonde-haired teammate with anger.

Sakura: Naruto…..don't tell me you…

Naruto: I swear, Sakura. I never told him anything!

Konohamaru: And I know that Lady Tsunade was a member of the Saanin once. But other than that, she spends most of her time gambling. She's a gambling addict.

Sakura snaps in anger by hearing Konohamaru's words.

Sakura: Shut up, little brat!

Naruto: Sakura, calm down! We're in the classroom, you know!

Suddenly, Sai steps forwards and he smiles at each of the children. Everything in the classroom is quiet as the pale-skinned boy is given the word.

Sai: The truth of the matter is: each members of the Saanin are also commonly known throughout the world by their nicknames. Jiraya is known as Pervy Sage, due to his hobby of spying on naked women. Tsunade is known as Gamble Sage, due to her gambling addiction and having to ability to be broke in a day or two. But Orochimaru is known as Pedo Sage, due to his interests in young boys and girls like you. He is also interested in possessing young kids' bodies. Just look at Captain Yamato.

When Yamato hears all this, his eyes suddenly burst out into tears, and he runs out of the classroom.

Yamato (crying): It's not my fault! My virginity was taken at a young age!

Both Naruto and Sakura stare at Sai angrily.

Naruto: What the hell is wrong with you, Sai? I told you to keep this between ourselves.

Sakura: Yeah, you totally screwed us all!

Sai (faces the students): And I forgot to mention you something, students. Each member of Team Kakashi doesn't make any sense at all. Naruto is a loudmouthed and annoying bisexual who always whines about saving his comrade/boyfriend Sasuke. And Sasuke is just an introverted and whiney emo, who allows himself to be molested by Orochimaru in order to become strong. And Sakura is just an annoying flat-chested bitch with mental problems, who blindly chases a gay loser like Sasuke, who doesn't seem give a rat's ass about her. What I'm saying is that if each members of the Saanin only ends up doing messed up stuff, so does their apprentices.

Iruka only gasps at what Sai has just told them. But both Naruto and Sakura are crying hysterically and they run away. Sakura runs out of the classroom.

Sakura (crying): It's not my fault! I didn't get to decide how my life should've been!

But Naruto suddenly hides himself in a closet in beside the large blackboard and Iruka walks over to open it, but it's locked.

Iruka: Come out, Naruto! You're embarrassing us for f**k's sake!

Naruto: No.

Sighing deeply, Iruka sticks his head out in the hallway and calls for Kakashi.

Iruka: Kakashi! Naruto won't come out of the closet! Get your ass in here and help me!

_To be continued…._

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**Author's note: That was funny sketches of famous anime and manga series. Hope you enjoyed it. **

**Characters belong to their respective owners. **


	15. Chapter 15

**Author's note: This is how I would've wanted a Robot Chicken sketch to be. It's just for fun! The series were created by Seth Green.**

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**Chapter 15: Teen Titans NO**

Inside the Titans Tower, we see the Teen Titans doing their usual stuff. But for some reason, they feel bored to death by what they actually are doing. We see Robin checking out his butt cheeks in the mirror with Starfire watching every step closely, Cyborg and Beast Boy watching television while eating pizza and Raven playing with her Pegasus dolls or whatever the MLP-rip-off is called. Suddenly, Robin grows irritated by this and throws a tantrum.

Robin (angered): This is so stupid! I'm just sick of this crap!

All the other Titans stare at him with confused looks, given that Robin is usually not the type to throw a tantrum.

Starfire: Why are you so upset, Robin?

Beast Boy: Yeah, dude. Since when are you allowed to throw tantrums and not be called stupid?

Cyborg (offended): Did you really think I was stupid when I threw a tantrum?

Beast Boy: Ummmmm…

Robin: I'm talking about this! It's bad enough that we draw influence from Japanese chibi, but this childish humor and ridiculous plotline is crossing the line! I mean, look at what we Teen Titans have been reduced to!

Starfire: Oh, I see! Robin is frustrated by the fact that he is portrayed as an immature teenager with a crush on a hot and sexy alien princess. I have read about this before.

All the Titans stare at her with confused looks, although Robin looks somewhat embarrassed by hearing this.

Robin (chuckles nervously): Eh…I have obviously no idea what you're getting at, Starfire.

Cyborg (teasingly): Ohhhhh someone's afraid to confess his feelings.

Robin (grits his teeth): Shut up, Cyborg.

Beast Boy: Hey Starfire! Robin has once told me and Cyborg that you have a round bubble bu…..OUCH!

Beast Boy is interrupted by Robin throwing his boomerang at him, but Starfire stares at him with interest.

Starfire: A bubble bu….is this another form for complimenting one's appearance among you Earthlings?

Robin (blushes): Well…..sort of.

Stafire giggles by hearing this, and Robin fights the urge to let his nose bleed. But Raven decides to change the subject.

Raven: Speaking of immature behavior…..why the hell am I portrayed as a brony in this show!? I mean, I'm Raven, daughter of Trigon, king of all demons! Sure, I can be humorous sometimes, but this is way off my character!

Beast Boy: If you ask me, you seem to be very obsessed with your ponies, unicorns or whatever the heck they're called.

Raven (sighs): It's just because that I share the same voice actor with Twilight Sparkle. But anyway, I am my own character!

Cyborg: I don't know how to respond to this, but weren't the old show just as whimsical and kid-friendly as this one is?

All the Titans stare at him with different reactions, with Beast Boy and Starfire being confused, while Raven and Robin are outraged. The good-natured hero only raises his eyebrow by seeing this.

Cyborg (confused): What?

Robin: You can't even compare the old show to this piece of garbage! I mean, the old show had humor and all, but it also had storylines and plots, something this show apparently lacks. Have you forgotten about Terra and Slade?

Beast Boy (annoyed): Dude, that name is just his first name! He is called Deadpool!

This time, all of the Titans stare at Beast Boy with outraged looks, which even surprises the green-skinned boy.

Raven: Deadpool? What world do you live in, Beast Boy?

Starfire: Correct me if I am mistaking, but I think his name is Deathstroke.

Beast Boy (shrugs off): Pfft. Deathstroke. Deadpool. Deadshot. All those names sound so freaking similar, regardless of which world you live in.

Robin: But guys, we need to get out this mess! I mean, the executives at Cartoon Network and DC Entertainment can't put us through this!

Cyborg: Actually they can, because Cartoon Network and DC Comics are owned by Warner Bros. which is owned by Time Warner. That makes us all their property.

Robin (sighs): Now I understand how Marvel Comics and Lucasfilm feels.

Raven: But Disney's purchasing of them have contributed greatly to their survival. And that could be said the same for DC Comics and Mortal Kombat being purchased by Warner.

Robin: Expect for the fact that we must share the shame home with Daffy Duck, Elmer Fudd and Porky Pig.

Beast Boy: Dude, shut up! Looney Toons are super cool and funny!

Starfire: Yeah! I always find their insane humor and lousy effects hilarious. As a matter of fact, I wanna go visit them someday!

Cyborg: And do you know who Disney must share home with now that Lucasfilm is owned by them?

By hearing this, everyone bursts out into laugher and fall on the floor. The Teen Titans are laughing so hard that they have troubles in getting up on their feet. Robin wipes of a tear as he gets up.

Robin (laughs) Heh, good one, Cyborg! You deserve an award for coming up with that.

Starfire: He sure does. But who were we laughing about exactly?

Beast Boy: Who do you think? Goofy?

Suddenly, someone enters the tower by using the left and all the Titans walk over to see who has entered. They all drop their jaws by seeing who it is that is standing.

Robin: Are you f**king kidding me!?

Jar Jar Binks: Muy muy! Meesa called Jar Jar Binks! Meesa da new pizza delivery boy in da city. DC Comics made a deal with George Lucas ta make me wokka here. You be da Teena Titans? Meesa here to deliver pizza!

A loud cry of despair can be heard from the tower to the city. But somewhere in Gotham City, Batman is having a poker night with fellow members of the Justice League of America. They are doing that in the Batcave. Joining the fun are Superman, The Flash, Aquaman, Green Arrow and Martian Manhunter.

Superman (laughs): You really are evil for doing this to the Titans, Bruce. I can't stop laughing.

Aquaman (laughs): I can't imagine how torturous it must be for them. I hope none of them finds out of your involvement.

Green Arrow (laughs): How can you do this to your own apprentice? I mean, doesn't Dick hold you in high regard?

Batman: Actually I prefer to call him Tim Drake, even though he insists he's Dick Grayson. Stupid kid, the REAL Dick would've never been so obsessed with his own ass cheeks, trashed the Batmobile, or even formed a group with cheesy teenagers.

All the heroes laugh at hearing this, even the usually reserved Batman.

Batman: You probably wonder how I managed to pull this. Well, you see I had done Iron Man a favor and he needed to repay me somehow. And that's where Jar Jar Binks came into the picture. Tony payed Lucas money to let him allow Cartoon Network to enter the show as a guest character. Phenomenal prank, wouldn't you say?

Aquaman: I could not agree more.

The Flash: Hey, speaking of which, do any of you have suggestions for a prank I can pull on Wally? That kid's been acting too arrogant these days.

Green Arrow: I was just thinking about doing the same thing with Roy.

Martian Manhunter: Come now, friends. We have had enough of pranking our apprentices. Maybe it is time we sat back and ceased this foolishness.

Superman: Why, is it because you fear that we will pull a prank on Megan without your consent, John? It sounds tempting to me.

The Flash: Now that, I'd pay to see!

Martian Manhunter (angered): You keep your filthy hands off my niece!

Aquaman: Calm down, John. Clark was just teasing you. You know the type of ass he can be at times.

Superman (offended): F**k off, Arthur!

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**Author's note: This was a funny parody of Teen Titans, as well as other DC Superheroes. Seth and his team have parodied DC Superheroes at various times, but only once with Teen Titans. I have mixed feelings about Teen Titans GO. I hope you enjoyed it. I did.**

**Teen Titans belongs to DC Comics.**


	16. Chapter 16

**Author's note: This is how I would've wanted a Robot Chicken sketch to be. It's just for fun! The series were created by Seth Green.**

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**Chapter 16: Ratchet's Bad Day**

In the city of Metropolis on Planet Kerwan, we see the intergalactic duo Ratchet &amp; Clank working with something on their space bike. And of course, Clank is the one who makes sure that Ratchet does not screw up anything with regards to the repairing.

Clank: Are you certain that the Hyperturbo 2002 was a good investment to the space bike, Ratchet? Commercials can sometimes give you false information, not to mention their cunning tactics to attract desperate customers.

Ratchet (excited): Sure it was, Clank! With this, we'll be speeding through Metropolis like an unstoppable bullet! Just imagine the looks on the space bikers' faces! They'll be like "dude, why didn't I buy a Hyperturbo 2002?" It'll be great!

Clank: But you do realize that there are certain consequences of acquiring such infernal, mechanical engines, correct? From what I can recall, your purchasing of an Automatic Pilot Driver almost cost you dearly, both physically and financially.

Ratchet (sighs): Again with the encyclopedic nouns? Look, I spent many bolts on this baby and I have no intention of throwing it away because of your logical protests. If you don't like it, you might as well go hang out with Captain Quark in his condo.

The tiny robot snaps in surprise by hearing this, indicating that he does not find Ratchet's suggestion hilarious. The young Lombax chuckles as he sees this. Clank narrows his green, robotic eyes and looks away for a brief moment while crossing his small, robotic arms.

Clank: I would rather accompany Big Al to one of his holo-gaming conventions. But can you at least heed my warning and cease this….

But Ratchet already seems to have mounted the space bike, much to Clank's surprise. He seems determined to test out his bike's addition and starts its engines.

Ratchet: Tch, suit yourself. I'm definitely gonna go check out the bike's speed with the turbo. See ya!

But as the Lombax pushes the accelerators, he flies in an incredibly fast speed, thereby screaming wildly in fear. Clank only stands still and watches his friend fly away. The tiny robot shakes his head.

Clank (concerned): Oh my, Ratchet seems to have made yet another poor choice with regards to selecting additions to the bike's motor as well as his way of thinking. I best find a way to stop him.

But the tiny robot snaps and then faces the audience with his smug look.

Clank: But what can I do? I am just a tiny, little robot. Perhaps this is something Ratchet can solve himself (chuckles evilly).

Meanwhile, Ratchet is driving in fast speed in the air, while passing by spaceships, blimps, skyscrapers and other dangers he tries to avoid. However, it does not seem so well for the Lombax, who is still screaming with fear.

Ratchet (screaming): Hyyyaaaaaaaaaaaa…..juuuust freaking stoooooooop!

But it is no use in switching off the bike's engines and it keeps going forward in a fast speed, much to Ratchet's distress.

Ratchet (screaming): Hyaaaaaaahhhhhhhh….FFF***************************K!

But things get uglier as the young Lombax spots a large blimp floating straight before him. In his shock, he tries to avoid the blimp by swinging, but it's too late.

Ratchet (screaming): COME ON! SWING YOU GOOD FOR NOTHIN' PIECE OF…..

Ratchet crashes into the blimp and he falls down towards a building which has a globe of glass as its roof. Without Clank to help him land, Ratchet is at loss of what to do in this situation.

Inside this building, we see a relatively dark room where I'm Never Gonna Dance Again by George Michael is played in the background. But there are lights switched on and we see Captain Quark doing some poses…bare chested and wearing a green G-string underwear, along with his hood, gloves and boots. The cameras are rolling as he does his poses.

Quark: Keep snapping your cameras, folks! I bet there are more than horny teenage girls who are desperate to get a glimpse of Captain Leslie Copernicus Quark's strong abs, muscled legs and curvy buttocks! Oh yeah!

But while he's posing, he suddenly notices how his underwear stretches itself around his crotch, thus making it feeling painful to him.

Quark (winces): Ouch….this underwear is so…..tight! My testicles can't take it…..much longer!

To his and everyone's surprise, the underwear snaps and it flies towards one of the cameramen's faces. The cameraman is screams with disgust.

Cameraman: Ewwww get this thing off me! I can't see!

Quark is filled with embarrassment and tries to hide his crotch with the help of a poster of Courtney Gears he randomly picks up. He then looks around the set.

Quark: Okay cut! Turn off the music! This has not gone what I expected! And can someone please find me a pair of pants!?

Cameraman: But you didn't bring any reserve clothes for you to use, Captain Quark. You came here wearing only that G-string of yours.

Quark (offended): What!? Ah that is nothing but a load of bull…..

But the hero accidentally falls off the set, while taking a few steps forward. He falls on the floor with his butt sticking up in the air while mostly lying on his stomach.

Quark (winces in pain): Ouch! That hurt! This day can't possibly get any more embarrassing!

Over them, the roof if glass is shattered as Ratchet falls through, heading straight towards Quark's location. But before the captain can react or try to escape, Racthet lands on him….only on a very unexpected position. Quark's eyes snaps and he screams so loud that can even be heard across Metropilis. Just where did Racthet land on Quark?

Two months later, we see a room, where Ratchet and Clank is visiting a physiologist, who actually happens to be a normal human being. Ratchet seems somewhat traumatized.

Psychologist: So let me get this straight. Ratchet accidentally crashed into a blimp and then fell down towards a building, where Captain Quark coincidentally was and he landed between Quark's…..

Clank: Yes. Ratchet had no other options. And he could not simply use a Plasma Bomb on Quark's posterior, because that would have killed him. However, both Ratchet and Quark were at the hospital in five days and once they were released, Ratchet seemed very uncomfortable when walking behind Quark as he always stared at his posterior.

Ratchet (freaked out): Hey, you have no idea how horrible it was to experience this! Hell, now all the girls are gonna think I'm gay because of me being stuck in Quark's ass for a day or two! And I better stay far away from Quark this time. Might as well even turning him over to Dr Nefarious.

Clank: (sighs): Well, your brought this upon yourself. All of this could've been avoided if you heeded my advice. (begins facing the audience) Just remember, children: ignoring my words will result in terrible consequences that will traumatize your life. Never forget that. (chuckles evilly)

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**Author's note: This was a pretty random chapter I came up, having recently played the newest Ratchet and Clank game. I love the game series and its humor. I'll admit that it felt too sexualized, but what the heck! Hope you enjoyed it!**

**Ratchet and Clank belongs to Insomniac Games and Sony Computer Entertainment.**


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